Judge — November 22, 1924 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Absorbing Adventures of Professor Blotter Frouowse his invention of a hy- draulic pump for carrying water to a lady in the theater without spilling it all on the down the aisle, Professor Blotter was elected Honorary Advising Architect of the Producing Managers’ Association. Blotter’s first thoughts were for the care and comfort of the audiences. After long and earnest efforts, Blot- ter was unat find a single mem- ber of the original audience which proved to Mr. Drennan that the house, with occupied, could be emptied in three minutes. Consequently, he has instituted the idea of holding little fire drills be- every seat One of the many thrills of a big football game—“Going to it.” tween the acts in all of the theaters. The problem of late arrivals was the next to meet Blotter’s critical attention. After months of thought, the venerable scientist designed a huge block and tackle, carrying a device similar to a breeches buoy, which he hopes to suspend from the roof of every theater. “When this invention is in opera- tion,” he explained, “each late arrival will be fitted into this buoy, swung (_\Funnybones \, A woman is like cream, when she is kept too long in the house, she through the air and deposited into his seat without disturbing anyone else in the Similarly muters who row. com- desire to leave ten minutes before the final curtain in order to catch their trains may de. posit their seat numbers at the box- office, and at the proper time the crane will be quietly lowered for them. “My present invention,” he added, the design of a theater with the second balcony on the ground floor, to save people the trouble of walking upstairs.” T left him at his blue prints. As I have said before, it: must be to have a mind like Blotter’s. Corey Ford great comicbooks.com