Judge — October 25, 1924 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Helping Hand Correspondence School A i you a Failure? Does the little wife look inte your lusterless eyes with mute dis- appointment because she cannot be proud of “her man”? Did you start with high ambition and stub your toe on the road to sue- cess? Are you tired? We have the remedy, A course in the Helping Hand Correspondence School. We fit your personality to a job. We place square pegs in. square holes. Don't run a peanut stand when you should be operating a hot- dog wagon, — Enlist now in our suc- cess army. Fight the world with keen weapons. We equip you for better things. Enclose no money—merely place a cross opposite the course which in- terests you, state whether blond) or brunette and we do the rest. Danger Signal Operator [ie only equipment required isa red flag and a determination to succeed. With intelligent applica- tion the student may master this interesting outdoor pr overnight. Learn at home in the privacy of your room. \—Flag-waving instructions. B —Discussion of relative merits of up sssion almost “Will you have a local anaesthetic?” “Sure. and down versus round and round. C—Other means of attracting atten- tion, D—When to jump. E—Ad- visable measures when A or C fail (see D). At slight extra cost we will include for operators, not yet complete mas- ters of English, andy pocket com- pendium of striking phrases and epithets, which our graduates have found invaluable Dont lean on a shovel. ds to success. Sign now. Become a Danger Signal Operator and acquire authority. T believe in boosting home industries.” Caudal Amputator [suite opportuni graduates in’ the bi crowded field of biting off puppies” tails. A Holding the patient. B—Dis- tracting patient’s attention. C Incisor operation versus. molar or right-angle method. —Finding the tail joints. E—How to avoid repri- sals. F—What to do after member is amputated. G—Application of tail tourniquet. awaits our and un- This course also includes, without charge to the student, a booklet of complete instructions on the eradica- tion of insect pests from — the person. We unhesitatingly recommend this course as a means to lucrative em- ployment. The field is limited only by your own enterprise and the supply of puppies. Join now and have a profession. In a few weeks you may hang out your shingle as a Caudal Amputator. Heading for Love Y ou’RE the light of my life,” ‘The poet averredl, ou’re the star in my sky,” ‘The astronomer purred. But one declaration Went straight to her head, “You're the kick in my liquor,” “Willie cawt come out now, he’s in th’ middle o° his business The bootlegger said. Tlis_ pa’s a-teachin’ him how t° strike.” 8 course. Lucia Trent comicbooks.com