Judge — October 4, 1924 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The father of a large family is thinlsing of turning to the right. A Misunderstanding! Blackstone—I have a noiseless type- writer in my office, now. Webster—Better marry her, old chap, before she quits her job! sae There are two ways to reach your goal: the first is to put your shoulder to the wheel; the second, not to buy that kind of a car. Where there's a Wills there's no Dempsey! Tadgo will pay $5 for cach one printed littir Jones—Miss Smith—Eva—my thoughts have i long been—er—centered on one great object. Bright Sayings of the Parents! Scones of newspapers throughout the country daily print para- graphs devoted to the bright sayings of children. It seems to us the parents of these children, who must be equally as scintillating, have been terribly neglected, so we are going to start a column for the grown-ups! Keep your ears open, children, and whenever you hear Popper or Mom- mer pull a wise crack send it to the “Bright Sayings of Parents” Editor. $5 will be paid for each one printed. Tony Pachagaluppi, fifty-four a yeers old, he taka me for a stroll one- a day to the zoo. “Wotsa dem animules, pop?” I ask. “Dem’s clemuphunts,” my pop, he “How dey ship dem big clemu- phunts from-a one-a country to anodder?”” “In-a dere trunks, I suppos- my smart pop. Tony Pachagaluppi, four and three- fourth years old Oi was passing a drug shstore with me father, frend, Clan mornin’ to thirsty?” | “Shure,” sez me old man, “come — | on in an have a drink.” | “But do ya know the druggist?” C Not « ” sez me pop, “only a winking acquaintance!” John Riley, five and one-half years comicbooks.com