Judge, 1924-09-27 · page 7 of 36
Judge — September 27, 1924 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Wogo—A Suggestion" This satirical piece mocks international sports nationalism through absurdist humor. The author argues that English people dismiss baseball as "morally anathema" while Americans won't embrace cricket, demonstrating how "deadly sectionalism in sport" prevents global unity. The solution? "Wogo"—a deliberately nonsensical international sport combining elements from every nation: cricket bats, bulls, Swiss Alps, Antarctic Oceans, and random scoring rules (a swallowed bull counts nine points "slowly"). The joke lies in the absurdity: if you arbitrarily mix every culture's sports together, you get something equally ridiculous and therefore equally fair to everyone. The accompanying illustration shows people awkwardly playing this imaginary sport. The satire targets both nationalistic pride in sports and the naïve belief that forced "international cooperation" through invented compromise actually builds unity. It's a commentary on the futility of transcending deep-rooted cultural preferences through artificial solutions.
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Wogo—A Suggestion ‘0 ACHIEVE international amity, we need an inter- national sport. No sane Englishman can be expected to enthuse over baseball. Not even an insane American-eould fall for cricket. And what's more, to the English anything that’s not cricket is moral anathema. All of which is silly, no doubt, but it just goes to show how deadly sectionalism in sport can be. What the world needs is a game made up of every national sport on the globe—from cross-word puzzles to pogroms. A game which will, conse- quently, know no patriotic boundaries. An inter- national game. Woggo. The name “Woggo” was derived by placing in a panama hat the clearly typewritten names of all known varieties of amusement. The slips of paper were then shuffled by an impartial electric fan and the name Woggo, which had previously been placed under the sweat-band, was drawn forth. The rules for Woggo were similarly arrived at, except for the hat, the shuffling and the slips of paper. To play Woggo, the ball is skidded over a high net to a man in Surrey, who waggles at it with his cricket bat. If the ball retreats over the front stop it counts one for China; if it retreats over the back stop it’s silly of him to let it. If the ball is lost, it is painted red and played from position, for a bull’s-eye. In the event the bull swallows the ball, it counts one for the bull; if the ball swallows the bull, it counts nine—slowly. The bull is then tested for pyorrhea and chased up an Alp for the alptitude record, while allied statisticians hurriedly place all tourists and hun- dred percente nd to end across the bottom of the Antarctic Ocean. After which— Departing Dentist—If any- one should inquire, Miss Smith, I’m away on business. I have But none of the rest really matters. A: s eighteans onatsesnton fil that aller * noon. the whole success of the thing rests ticians. Stage Door Nat Cared not for fat, And John disliked the lean; And so between them both, you see, They dated every queen. Phd “Nude” hosiery is a late fad. Why doesn’t some one start a craze for nude complexions? Said the Listerine bottle to the onion, “O breath, where is thy sting?” FOR THE BOOK OF ETIQUETTE How to Use a Toothpick in a Public Dining-room. ‘Fudge will pay 85 for cach one printed comicbooks.com