Judge — September 6, 1924 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Answers to Famous Questions I How Old Is Ann? H== is a problem that must be solved out on the terrace (or fire escape) in the twilight of a hot summer day. First remove the coat, vest, suspenders and all metal appurtenances such as cuff links, collar buttons, tie clasps, Elk’s pins, ete. Arrange on convenient table: one (1) bottle Gordon gin, the ju of six (6) oranges, cracked ice, shaker, glasses, and other necessary tools and instruments. Proceed as follows: Let a represent Ann, b Ann's father, ¢ her mother, d her sister, e her brother, f her cousin from Maine, g the boy who tipped her over in the canoe that time, h the cop who gave her a summons for making that left turn at the corner of Fifth Avenue and Forty-second street, i the iceman, j William Jennings Bryan, /-z inclusive other The musician patronizes: the absent-minded barber who spe- cializes in bobbed hair. \Funnybones /~ Most of our flappers are more ginned against than ginning. Gulge will pay 85 for cach one printed notables and criminals who may occur to you at the time. Start saying through the alpha- het, a, b, ¢, d, e, ete., until the first mosquito lights behind your left ear. Stop alphabetting at this signal and figure up which letter of the alphabet, numerically speaking, you stopped on. Cube this number; square the result; cube it again. Add in the date, your bust measure, the pri u paid for those tickets to the Fol Subtract your own age, your poll tax, any bad debts you may have acquired during the current fiscal year. Multiply by five. Add six. There you have it: Ann’s exact age in Roman numeral Simple when you know how, isn’t it? Torrey Ford Crowded! Stranger—Have automobiles taxed your parking facilities? Native—Yes, sir; we've had to enlarge the cemetery twice. Orrice Bor—Mr. Wormington said to tell you that he is not in. “Indeed? that I did not call!” Well, you may tell Mr. Wormington comicboo!