Judge, 1924-08-30 · page 7 of 36
Judge — August 30, 1924 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page contains three distinct pieces of satire from Judge magazine: **"Heard at the Cigar Stand"**: A humorous dialogue between two men discussing theater, written in heavy working-class dialect. The joke hinges on their confusion about famous performers—they conflate Elsie Dinsmore (likely a stage actress) with Florence Nightingale (the famous nurse, not a singer), yet insist Nightingale was "the greatest soprano ever." The satire mocks ordinary men's casual ignorance about culture and history, presented as charming rather than foolish. **"Jones has just returned from mountain climbing"**: A simple visual gag showing a rescue scene with wordplay about grammar—a schoolteacher corrects "Hold on tight, miss!" to proper English while someone's drowning. **"A Bonus to Pick"**: A brief joke about divorce settlements, with the closing "Funnybones" quip suggesting women are the real victors in marital disputes, as they "hold one of the [two] sides." The overall tone reflects early 20th-century American humor: working-class vernacular, gender stereotypes, and casual mockery of both ignorance and education.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
XUM Heard at the Cigar Stand s ALAR yuh, Bill. Havva smoke?” “Sure, Harry. Thanks. Perty good. How's self?” “Finez silk. Whereja go las night?” “Mean the wife wenta the show. Perty good show, too. Kinda sad, but one fellez funny.” “Movie?” “Nope, reglur show.” “I don’t gota shows much. Don’t seemta have good ones like they usta. Still, Dad usta say I never saw a good show, cause they took ‘The Black Crook’ off wen I wuzza baby. I figger I didn’t miss much, cause I never cared for crook plays.” “Yeh, my ol’ man usta be boosten the of time playzen acters too. Just mention show to him and he'd start raven about Barretten Booth. Great pair, Barretten Booth.” “Yeh, great pair, Barretten Booth.” “Seems like all the great acters in the old days were men. Don't bleeva ever heart uva woman staren the old day: there was some. Lessee, there was Elsie Dinsmore.” “But she wt spranna uver tin “No, Elsie Dinsmore wuzza_reglur actress, notta singer.” “Bleeve yer wrong, ol’ timer. Greatest spranna uvver day.” Rescuer—I/lold on tight, miss! ScHoo.- tightly!” Hold on tight: EACHER—Don't say that; say “Hold on Jones has just returned from two weels of mountain climbing. “No, you're wrong. I know who yer thinken of—Florence Nightengale. She wuz the greatest spranna uver “Yer right! Florence Nightengale. My mistake. “Yep, greatest spranna uver time. Well, gotta be scooten.” “So vi. Slong, ol’ timer. Be good.” “Dootha same, podnah. Slong.”” R. B. Walsh A Bonus to Pick “You and your husband separated after your domestic war?" It’s all settled now but the Funnybones are two sides to every —unless a woman holds one of them. ‘Tuadge will pay 85 for cach one printed comicbooks.com