Judge — August 23, 1924 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The New Sears Don Herold Reviews the Most Daring Book of the Year! Complete in this Issue HE new “Sears, Roebuck and Co. Catalog” which came to our house the other day seems to me to be livelier and funnier and to have more pretty girls in it than any of its predecessors. It opens with a bang, and it is just bang, bang, bang, all the way through. It may get a little dull over in the stove depart- ment, but for the most part it is, as I say, just bang, bang, bang. I have watched these productions since away back about 1904 when I ordered my first crokinole board from Sears, Roebuck, and have watched them grow more colorful, more entertaining and more snappy from year to year, and I hand it to these boys for keeping me interested all these years. There have been years, it is true, when I have ordered nothing from Sears, Roebuck, but my heart has always been in the right place toward them. How amusing those old Sears, Roebuck woodcut girls used to be compared to the living, breathing, pulsating, four-color-process Sears, Roebuck peaches of to-day! The book opens with a fashion parade, and I had lost my senses before I had turned three pages. I do not want this department (if it lasts that long) to go in for a lot of superlatives, but this old pulmonary system went pitty-pat when I gazed on 1774005, the second girl from the right on page three. Incidentally, she wears a genuine silk seal plush winter coat, which, at $34.50, is a good enough fur coat for any woman alive. And incident- ally if the circulation of Sears, Roebuck and Co. catalogs were universal instead of con- fined to the intelligentsia, no other single publication could do as much to bring down the high cost of alimony in Amer- ica. These books ought to be in every home and in every divorce court; in fact, I feel at this moment that what this country needs above everything else, is a return to good old-fashioned regular reading of the family Sears, Roebuck Catalog and increased reverence for its pre- + cepts. The most gorgeous page of girls I have ever seen in any mail-ordercata- log is page 120, devoted, supposedly, to hats. Mr. Ziegfeld will wince when he sees this page, and well may he. It was not until I had looked at this page a second time that I noticed that the highest priced hat on the page was $3.98, and then you should have heard me shout for Mrs. (Continued on page 31) had to have our little joke.” “Yes—the wife and I are-professional humorists, so we Well, I’ll Be Hanged! “Give ‘me my answer. will you marry me? No longer can I wait. If you don’t say ‘yes’ I'll go and hang Myself at your garden gate.” “Ah, that,” she murmured, “you must never do, *Twould be a sad disgrace— And besides, my father won’t have the fellows Hanging ‘round the place.” —Phil Rosa The Financier Gladys—I need $5 for a pair of hose, and I have only $4. Edith—That’s easy. Pawn the $4 for $3 and sell the pawn ticket for $2. Arrested Is Right Judge—What makes you think that you are a victim of arrested development? Jake—Cause, yo’ honor, Ah was becomin’ one of de bes’ pickpockets in de city, when de cops done put a stop to it. Couldn’t Be Right! Nancy—Oh, I’m sure that scale must be out of order! Peggy—How much did it show you gained this time, dear? comicbooks.com