Judge — August 9, 1924 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Just a Joke vt was Horace who told me the I wretched thing first. His people were giving a jolly little-informal dance and we were just waiting for the music to strike up when Horace took me on one side. “I say, have you ever heard the Countess of Ayre joke?” he asked. “No. Get it over quickly. I’ve booked the first dance.” “It’s this: a chap went to a dance with a friend and in the middle of it the friend noticed that he wasn’t dancing and asked him why, and: he said there wasn’t a girl in the room he’d be seen dancing with. So the friend said, ‘I’ll introduce you to a girl you’ll like. She’s the daughter of the Countess of Ayre.’ So he intro- duced him to her and they danced together, and soon the chap said, ‘How is your mother, the Countess of Ayre?’ and she replied, ‘Oh, it’s my father who’s the County Surveyor.’ See?” “No, you silly ass!” “The County Surveyor. See?” “You said the Countess of Ayre.” “I didn’t. I said ‘the County Sur- veyor’ so that it sounded like the ‘Countess of Ayre.’ The other man thought it was the Countess of Ayre, but really it was the County Surveyor all the time. That’s the joke. See? Ha! Ha!” “Ha! Ha!” I said going toward “Some people have all the luck!’ the library where they were having the dance. ‘The first dance was about to begin, and I was just working up the charming smile with which I usually claim my partners, when I noticed Horace’s aunt. Horace’s aunt was installed in an arm-chair in the hall so that she could see the dancing through the open door. Horace’s aunt is deaf, and she has a kind of loudspeaker thing into which you loud speak. Now, deafness is an “What's that, Papa?” “A union suit for saxophone players.” affliction and I’m jolly sorry for deaf people as a rule, but it’s impossible to be sorry for Horace’s aunt. She caught me with one hand as I passed wearing my very best partner-greeting smile. The smile faded away. I tried to keep it there, but the sight of Horace’s aunt and her loudspeaker was too much for it. “What was Horace telling you, John?” she said drawing me firmly into the chair next hers, “He looked very much amused.” The she put the loudspeaker prac- tically into my mouth and waited. “Oh, just a joke,” I yelled feebly. “You must tell it to me,” she said, fixing me with her glassy eye. I BEGAN as quickly as I could: “It was only about a man who went to a dance “More slowly, please,” said Horace’s aunt. “I can’t follow if you gabble like that.” “A—man—went—to—a—dance— with—a—friend.” “There’s nothing funny about that,” said Horace’s aunt severely. “I’ve been to France myself.” I cleared my throat. “A man went to a dance with a friend. . . .” “Then why couldn’t you say so?” said Horace’s aunt testily. “I wish you young people could be taught to speak distinctly. ‘A man went to a dance with a friend.’ Well, go on!” (Continued 6n page 26) comicbooks.com