Judge, 1924-08-02 · page 5 of 37
Judge — August 2, 1924 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains three satirical pieces: **"Impossible Dialogues"** (top): A doctor dismisses a hypochondriac patient's multiple complaints as "imagination," then paradoxically tells him to leave and never return—exposing the absurdity of physicians who simultaneously deny patients' symptoms while refusing treatment. **"When My Ship Comes In"** (middle): A whimsical poem about anticipated wealth from a ship's cargo, humorously contrasting the speaker's hopeful fantasies with practical reality—a common period expression about deferred prosperity. **"Net Results"** (right): Brief comic vignettes including a joke about a man married to a tennis champion and dialogue about camping mishaps. These are lightweight humor pieces typical of Judge's satirical magazine format. The cartoons use exaggeration and irony to mock pretension and human nature.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Impossible Dialogues Scene: A Doctor's Office. Time: 11 a.m. Characters: A Doctor and a Patient. Patient—But, Doctor, I’m sure I am very ill. Doctor—Rubbish! Patient—I feel weak and feeble. Doctor—You're in the pink of condi- tion. Patient—I have pains in every joint. Doctor—Nonsense! as = az pla Patient—I have absolutely no appetite. ’ ' <| TG, Doctor—Absurd! Yy Patient—And I breathe only with the : UY greatest difficulty. ¢ Doctor—Bunk! Patient—Moreover, I am very rich and wish to place myself entirely in your care. Doctor—All imagination! Patient—And I'll do exactly as you say. Doctor—You'll do as I say? Very well then. Leave this office, at once, and never let me hear from you again. There’s no charge. Good day, sir. Cc. G. S. When My Ship Comes In O» I wit be rich when my ship comes in oH Iknow it’s a saying you've heard before; Down through the ages men have talked thus, And to the many I add one more. Oh, I will be rich when my ship comes in, NET RESULTS But she’s not a mystical ship, you see, i i i ‘My dear, I don’t itici She’s loaded with whisky and wine and Man Who Married a Tennis Champion—My dear, lon’t want to criticize your game, but I wish you wouldn’t use a steel racquet for your overhead gin And her cargo, you bet, means riches ***°K¢s- to me! Mean First Bootlegger—Talk about dirty tricks! Second Bootlegger—What now? “One of my: customers died without paying me for the bottle of hooch that killed him.” Hokum Just a little hokum, Sometimes quite a lot, Make some mighty big men Talk a lot of rot. FAD “T hear you were camping with the Gugleers.” “Yes, but we had to turn back.” « - TIED! “Why, the first day out we lost six George—I’m so happy, dear, I feel as though we were floating on air. characters out of the Mah Jongg set.” 3 comicbooks.com