Judge — July 19, 1924 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Damaged Lady—Yes, indeed, Mrs. Brown, married life has been a reg’lar eye-opener to me! Dregs (With Apologies to Moore) O in the stilly night, Ere slumber’s chain has bound me, Foid memory brings the light Of other days around me; The five-cent beers Of former years, The glee at oaken tables; The bar that shone, Now doomed and gone— Good times that seem like fables! {hus in the stilly night, re slumber’s chain has bound me, ad memory brings the light Of other days around me. And when I think how all Good fellows got together Ere prohibition’s pall Came round to spoil fair weather, I feel like one For whom the sun Has evermore departed, And silent mourn For Barleycorn Who kept the boys light-hearted. Thus in the stilly night, Ere slumber’s chain has bound me, Sad memory brings the light Of other days around me. E. J. K. A Respite The Golddigger (sympathetically) —I suppose your wife doesn’t understand you? J. Peck Gayladd—You bet she does! But don’t let it worry you—she’s out of town To Relieve Traffic Congestion AY I Goop Prof. * Ra the famous expert, has evolved lation which bids tion. Its ingenuity friend, Gohnon A, efficiency plan of traffic regu- ir to relieve con, rivaled only by its simplicity of operation and the wonder is that others have not thought of it be- fore. (But Professor Rampage will be remembered as the savant who proved that one could put two and two together to make twenty-two if given sufficient provocation.) The professor's scheme is unique in that it involves taking the police into one’s confidence. “On the busiest corners of our busiest cities at the busiest moment of the busiest day,” is the professor's simple, yet effective, ne Which means that the traffie officer on duty at the psychological secret button on the semaphore so that the signal “GO” sides. moment presses a appears on all four When the wreckage has been cleared away one can appreciate that most of the machines involved will be laid up for repairs for some time if not actually con- signed to the junk pile. traffic will show a corresponding diminu- tion of congestion for such period of in- activity As these cars gradually are returned to service and traffic again becomes too intri- Consequently cate, Professor Rampage’s scheme is called into play again. And so ad_in- finitun. It has been suggested that not a few pedestrians may be rendered hors de combat by the professor's simple expedi- ent; but that phase of the situation like- wise plays an important réle in traflic relief. Professor Rampage has recently taken over a controlling interest in the Nation Wide Salvage and Scrap Iron Corpora- tion. He also operates artificial limb factories in Herrin, Ill., Valparaiso, Ind.. Mer Rouge, La., and Lilly, Pa. R. J. P. In the Beginning ‘Is your boy old © o. He's only makes of cars.” ugh to talk yet?” just learning the To the World at Large Irate Citizen (from bedroom window) Say, you, down there; who are you talk- ing to? Intoxicated One—Nobuddy ‘n perticiler. I'm just broadcashtin’. Awful dream of a gentleman who has been having too much scenic railway. comicbooks.com