Judge — July 12, 1924 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

to vou. Vhy Ness the ring by ost- will will ions ‘for the my the tous as Life with horn the Ere ont- Foozleton (after busy afternoon with clubs and flask, contemplating his eggs)—Stymied, by gosh! Clad in buff jerkin, nankeen breeches and riding cloak, he will thrust horse pistols in holsters and lunch in saddlebags and be off at a spanking trot for Hackensack. There a ferryman will be waiting to row him to the Twentieth Century. I shall be the apostle of retrogres clair the commuter shall be astir. I shall lead men back to days of leisure and repose, Let us abolish progress, and abolish time; it is well said that time was made for slaves!” The train slowed down and squealed to a halt just outside the terminal, There it loitered in the manner of returning prodigals on the doorsteps of their homes. ix minutes late!” fumed the Pro- fessor. “It’s shameful! It’s outrageous! I shall write to the president of the rail- road!” M. B. Mrs. Newrich—Disgraceful! The Lady Across the Hall Se MANY of the plays I see, So many modern novels, Have heroes toiling eagerly In Greenwich Village hovels. They are not desolate at all— A lady lives across the hall. By accident they always meet (Or thus the author jollies). She is so shapely and so sweet She should be in the “Follies,” But, bred to domesticity, She dusts his desk and brews his tea. She urges him to follow Art, To turn his back on riches And, when the failing fabrics part, She stitches up his breeches, ns his great success— The way it’s ended you can guess. T've dwelt ia many a Village inn From Patchen Place to Bleeker; T've hunted for this heroine But fruitlessly I seek her— Such lemons always seem to be Across the dingy hall from me! Joun McCoit. Reciprocity Judge—O'Rourke, T've warned time and again against being brought before me for intoxication. you and costs. Defendant—Have a heart, Your Honor. ‘Twas St. Patrick’s Day—an’—an'— “Oh, well, O'Rourke, I know you're a good Irishman, so this one time I'll throw off the fine.” “Your Honor, I'll be man in generosity. I'll costs.” outdone by no throw off the Back Numbers Mabel—Don't you love Harold? Maud—Why, I haven't loved him for months. Haque Teer Not a thing touched since I left the room | this morning. And you have the impudence to call yourself a lady’s maid! | Maid (archly)—Oh, no, mum; not since I’ve been ’ere, I haven't. —Passing Show (London). 31 Ten dollars | | WASH AWAY FAT AND YEARS nothing in part of body d 4 No dieting or e: Be as slim as you wish. Acts like magic in reducing dou- ble chin, abdomen, ungainly ankle | ing wrists, arms and shoulders, lai any superfluous fat on body you by mail, postpaid, on a money-bs antee. Price 5( cs $1.00; one to th purpose. Send « Ou'll be surprised at results, Address LA-MAR LABORATORIES 308-B Beckman Building, Cleveland, O. | How Bleachodent Whitens Dark Teeth In Three Minutes a mild ‘and a special paste which Dull, yellow or tobacco- ng white, sparkling Pc two Just use liquid once a week Keeps teeth wonderfully Don't go around with bad spol appearance, and besides cause bad bi ‘Get. Bleachodent COM- oth liquid and paste) for small ributed by Bleachodent Dental Laboratories sid sold by deus aod Geparesient stone everson deal Summer Vacations Bleachodent Com m ains liquid to sotten stain: gently remove: Stained teeth are 1 Oaly 2 Days from NewYork. 8 Day Tours $90 And Up—Including All Expenses, onger Tours it, proportion. All the attractions of a delightful yachting crulse to a Quaint Foreign Land SAILINGS TWICE WEEKLY ightful Season In Be “FORT VICTORIA FORT ST. GEORGE” Send fe Spectal Tours Booklet. BERMUDA LINE at wore St., or any Tourist Agt