Judge, 1924-07-12 · page 10 of 36
Judge — July 12, 1924 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page from *Judge* magazine contains several satirical pieces mocking early 20th-century life: **"The News at a Glance"** parodies newspaper headlines by presenting them as overheard fragments in a crowded train—jumbled, sensational, and absurd. The joke is how modern news feels disjointed and overwhelming. **"Lament of Ye Incubator Chick"** criticizes mechanized farming and industrial efficiency. The chick, born in a machine rather than naturally, laments lacking maternal care and natural instincts—a commentary on technology replacing tradition. **"Rhineworth—Nine, Two, One, Three"** satirizes anxious courtship via telephone, depicting a young man's paranoid spiral while calling his girlfriend. The humor lies in his irrational jealousy and the technological awkwardness of phone romance. **"Ingenious Would-be Suicide"** appears to joke darkly about someone attempting suicide by heat exposure—unclear without full context. The bottom cartoon about goat gland operations references a real 1920s-30s fad where surgeons implanted goat glands claiming to restore youth and virility—mocked here as absurd quackery.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The News at a Glance From a Daily Paper, Read Over the Shoulder of a Fellow-passenger in a Very Crowded Train. Ex-Kinc, Prisoner at—small dance, given by—aged tramp, found—in AEROPLANE IN ‘Turee Hours anv ‘T Minures—at the wedding of Miss Lucile Ostenton and—* Kid” Zluch in six rounds as—Edmund, beloved husband of Clara, after a lingering illness— Knocks Homer in Nintu, BrinGinc 1N—a magnificent collection of oriental rugs—during convention of Women Voters’ League, which decides on—Basy Kipnapinc At—great fall sale—or Coat Strikers’ PL. during song recital of mezzo soprano—in active market, backed by traders who want—studio, bedroom and bath, with maid service for—Murver ot Gunman—who smoke little cigars—in luxuri- ously-lined three-piece—City RESTAURANT IN FLames—caused woman to reveal her—TRutu- FUL TO THE Enp. Lament of Ye Incubator Chick Backward, turn backward, oh, time, in your flight; Make me an egg again, clean, smooth and white. I'm lonesome, ’'m homesick, I feel low and mean; I'm a chicken that was born in a hatching machine. Forsaken, neglected, forgotten, I roam; No one to love me—no place to call home. No one to teach me to scratch or to cluck, T hardly know whether ’'m chicken or duck. tos “How is your uncle progressing after the goat gland operation?” Ingenious Would-be Suicide—Pardon me, my man, but is it hot enough “He’s better, all right, but the other night for you? when he had sardines, vp he ate the sar- dines, he ate the can, too. Rhineworth—Nine, Two, One, Three (Being the mental murmurings of a certain young man who is in the act of telephoning a certain young lady at a certain specified hour.) 2 she doesn’t answer. She said surely be there. She was com- ight home from the hairdresser’s. And she would positively wait for my call. Yes, I can hear them ringing. She’s not there. Maybe, she went out with that Sanderson fellow. I wonder if that’s what she’s done. I'll bet that’s it. I don’t like that Sanderson. No, not a bit. And he thinks he’s a real knockout. Oh, they’re ringing all right. I can hear them. She's out somewhere with Sander- son. That’s what’s happened. That's just it. I wonder what—“Hello! — Is Grace there? What's that! Why, yes— nine, two, one, three. Oh! Oh! Hey, “Do you really love me, Herbert?” Central! You've given me the wrong “Of course I do!” number!” “Then why doesn’t your chest go up and down like the men on the films?” 8 comicbooks.com