Judge — July 5, 1924 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

How to Fold a Newspaper in a High Wind (T05 daily problem, so readily bungled, is easily solved when the right methods are employed. Having completed the first column of the latest divorce story, you come to a note, “Turn to page 6, column 1.” A simple bit of advice, but how hard to follow! This is the way. Grasping the paper firmly between your knees, seize the upper right hand corner with your right hand and with your left, beckon to a small boy. Have the boy hold your parcel, and with the left hand thus freed, pick up the section that was blown away. Reunite the two sections of the paper by a quick, dexterous flip of the left hand to a point just below your floating ribs, while your right hand is carried to a level with your knee. You will readily be able to put the second section inside the first one, although upside down. Now spread the paper out full length, and, slapping it to the ground, hurl your- self upon it, assuming a prone position. With your right hand reach over your left shoulder and shuffle through the paper until you have found page 6. Then exe- cute what in wrestling is called a “bridge.” During a lull in the weather, roll over quickly upon your face, being careful to pinion the paper with your knees. Then call a policeman and request him to lie upon one part of the paper while you turn the pages. SEASON OF 1925 A few of the star players who are able to dictate terms insist on rounding the bases in their cars. Your old paper will now be in poor condition so you must buy a new one. Ask the paper boy to tear off the first three sheets. Reverse these sheets and you will find page 6. Column 1 will contain a patent medicine advertisement, but you win a moral victory anyway. J.C. EL tae An exceptionally unfriendly act French government has ordered fiv ns deported to the United States. (Prohibition Classified Section) PROSPEROUS BOOTLEG ro uite—210 steady s; all cash; owner entering down-town fi no reasonable offer refused. Pitkin 0006. VERY TRUCK—Body made to resemble I n by day and tuna fish by night. Fools ‘em all. No chance for detection. Capacity 1,114 short qts. Call at 607 Duckpin Place. If owner is not in deal ® 0-0—2,000 2-41. ji d chance tart lucrative business Owner leaving city mmendation of 10, from 2 to 10 yrs., with Glowpsch 45 Party J. 3 3 special; speed 110 mi, Reason for selling owner is opening chain of all evenings 819 Spindle st TS—2,500. live case-lot prospects, D very name a winner. Grab this one and get in on some of the boodle, Larchmont 34-2r. MUST SACRIFICE BLIND pig; wonderful location i library; full police protection; 5,000 handles. Inquire if you 8 Oip st. sell fine set-up; more than 600 y without single dissatisfied patient; Call Whambo 3445. mean business PHYSICIAN rescriptions ig repeat business. 2 Green River Anthology (Apologies to Edgar Lee Masters) Caleb Horner My Mother always warned me against drinking— And so did our parson—but Came a time, after prohibition, When everyone expected it And a fellow had to do his share. Now here I lie beneath this headstone Wondering if my Mother ever doubted The newspaper report of heart disease— And if all bootleggers are liars. Evelyn Loring I belonged to,the flapper set. We were out on a petting party, And Harry had a flask. My God! The stuff was like dynamite And I passed out cold. The innocent cherubs that my grand- mother insisted On putting on this headstone Certainly give me a laugh! E. F. L. Active Market “How many servants do you keep, may I ask?” “None. But we're hiring ’em all the time.” tae Electric clippers have been irvented which will shear fifteen hundred sheep daily. The Wall Street record is. still unequaled, however. _ comicbooks.com