Judge — July 5, 1924 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ON THIS SPOT PERISHED FOUR PEOPLE NID 4 aE! The sort of public monument that might do some good. Thoughts Adjusting Oneself to an Upper Berth Go". the fellow downstairs has gone to Darn How am I gonna ge Where's They're always biditig out when you want them,and when you don't want them you're falling all over them. bed. these early birds up th the porter? (Porter and ladder cured. re finally pro: Victim, puffing slightly, sits moodily in berth, his feet dangling through the curtains.) How am I gonna get my shoes down there on the floor? Guess upper berths don't rate shoe shines with the porter. Well, where am T gonna put my shoes, then? ‘Tie the button of the curtain, I guess. Now how the dickens can I sleep with this suitcase in here with me? Where's the coathanger? If I can only—get—this shirt—off! There! 1 knew I'd rip it half-way up the back. Only expert trapeze performers should be allowed to travel in upper berths. ‘Think I'll write my about. it. How is a man to get his pants—well, I'll have to lie down for this. Doggone that suitcase! And what's this rolled-up blanket doing in here? Ts a wonder “em on Congressman they didn't put in a couple crates of chi too; there's so much extra How'd Tt ain't in the aisle. space. ‘There goes that sock! that ever fall over? Must've fallen right that lower berth. smack down into: Vil have a fine time Where's nmas? How do they turn off these light dooflickers? ‘That et! TW have to nestle it: against the wall all night, T guess. Well, [ve pressed every darn bulge on this wall but none of “em work that light. Maybe [ can hang my shirt over it. Oh, heck — who said travel broadens you? claiming that in’ the morning. the coat to my “Mother, front door.” “Who is it?” “I don’t know—but here's the seat of his britches.” there’s somebody at What Always Happens in a Presidential Year 3H more or less witty professional Hhumorists more or less wiltily announce the i or less for President. on more hilarious platforms and elicit rather less than 341 laughs out of the performance. Favorite Sons regain consciousness slowly and inquire for particulars con- cerning the eyclone, 17,035 nobodies get. a great kick out of the election by writing in their own names on the ballots. 2,345 different Anti societies put ques- tionnaires Lo all candidates regarding their stand on 123,456 different issues. Seven 456 tons of alleged liter- ¢ issued to the voters, Hight ounces are carefully and thoughtfully read by the recipients. Several gross of chorus girls get their pictures in the papers by paying up freak election bets. Old-timers who swore when Bryan first ran for President that’ they wouldn’t shave until he was elected, unwrap their whiskers from around their waists, and allow) the awed multitudes to thereon. gaze comicbooks.com