Judge — June 28, 1924 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Senator La Four there is one question the Court has been dying to ask you for lo! these many years.” es, Your Honor, and that is... 2" “Why do you wear your hair that way? “You're not getting unduly personal, are you, Your Honor?” “Possibly. But T hardly expected an objection from you on thi You are an advocate publicity of tax returns, are you not “T certainly am.” t score. the ‘full and complete’ “That is to say, you would go up to a friend in a company of others and ask him to broadcast the amount of his income where and how he gets it, what he gives to charity and so on?” “T don't consider that a fair quest The people should know, if they want to, how much a rich man makes and whether he is evading his income tax.” “And each man should know what his neighbor makes and why, for any purpose he pleases? But to return to your hair hair is often a more important clew to a man’s private objects and intentions than his income tax return, and in the case of a politician who pays no income tax it may be the only clew (his I princi ul little or nothing). We have never President with your kind of hair. Full and complete publicity of the thoughts that course through your brain as, les rev comb in hand, you confront the mirror in the morning and toss on high that noble mane are essential to the stability of the Republic. Are you thinking then of the wrongs of the people or of the glory of Robert Marion LaFollette?” “LT refuse to answer. “On what ground “On the ground that it may incriminate and degrade me.” “Stet!” IT SEEMS to he definitely settled that Senator La Follette will bolt his party and head a third ticket for the Presidency. How many good Americans realize that the political events of the last four years have aped those of 1908-1912 with a fidelity that seems uncanny? In 1920 the Republican Party clected a lovable, easy-going President by a signal majority. So it did in 1908. ‘Then in each instance, at the behest of its financial backers, it proceeded to put through a protective tariff that made the country howl. The Payne-Aldrich bill had its Schedule K, the Fordney-McCumber med schedule. ure its sugar Both tariffs were promptly followed by the election of a Congress hostile to the Administration and a marked zrowth of insurgency within the Republican ranks. There follows in the one instance the Ballinger-Pinchot controversy and in the other the oil scandal, both involving the Department of the Interior and its handling of natural re- sources. In either case the President, though entirely blame- less, is hurt by his hesitations, hesita ions due to the approach JUDGE the BENCH of a Presidential campaign and his desire to be returned to offi Finally the Republican National Convention meets. In 1908 and again in 4 the conservatives take charge and renominate their standard bearer, with short shrift: for the There is a [convention marked by religious fervor,a tmanimous impudent protests of the insurgent contingent, bolt,a ret nomination—and that brings us up to date, Twelve ve which million rs separate these two series of events ed in the greatest war in history and civiliza- tion had convulsions. years in But maybe these things were only a nightmare and presently some one will ask, “What's the plural of Bull Moose?” “Is Cuter Justice Tarr in the courtroom... 2 Mr. Justice, won't you do me the Thank Tam anxious to talk with the only one of the three prin- cipals in the campaign of 1912 who is alive to watch that. of 1924. What for the battle “Well, Jupce, Lam conscious of the feeling that I'm glad it's Cal Coolidge in the ring and not my own somewhat more elephantine person, though I'm a lot thinner than Twas. You remember I was very fat twelve years ago and a fat man makes an excellent target in a three-cornered fight.” “Are you struck with the resemblances between the situa- tion to-day and twelve years ago?” Yes, of course, but the parallel is not exact. honor to join me here on the bench for a moment? you. your feelings as you view the preparations Mr. Coolidge, who seems to occupy this year a position corresponding to mine of 1912, possesses certain advantages that were not mine.” m mean that he doesn’t have to defend personally all the acts and appointees of the Republican Administration?” “Yes, if you want to put it that way. He can afford to maintain silence or even Another advantage is the opposition of certain Senators in his own wing of the Party. I wish now I hadn't been quite so chummy in my chubby days. There is still another thing in Mr. € T speak with reluctance. Senator La Follette is not Colonel Roosevelt. Even to this day I find it hard to refer to that that—er—misunderstanding that induced the Colonel to head a third ticket a I'm sorry now I tried to make my own personal grief at his defection an issue in the eampai Pity doesn’t get votes. Mr. Coolidge is spared that temp- turn critic on occasion. idge’s favor of which ist me. tation. But more particularly he is spared an adversary with antlers. ‘How sharper than a serpent’s tooth... .° “What do you think, then, will be the outcome? “Oh, I think Mr. Coolidge will put up a stiff fight. I hope so. Thave a soft spot in my heart for anyone from Vermont.” “That's so. Vermont and Utah are your pet States. “Yes, yes. But I must be going. We've raked up enough *... old, unhappy, far-off things And battles long ago.” ” Tue Pouirictans have overlooked one of Al Smith’s most important vote-getting attributes. There must be a million Smiths of voting age in this country, every one of whom has suffered from the cheap jibes leveled at the ubiquity of his relatives. Imagine the salve to his pride in having a Smith in the White House! The slogan, “A vote for Al stays in the family,” would seduce the entire clan. W. M. H. comicbooks.com