Judge — June 28, 1924 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“An viewer. “Next winter,” said Mr. Sumner, “TI intend to conduct a drive against grand opera. They have been getting away with murder for years, and it’s time some one stopped it. “For instance? “Well, my attention has been called 1» indecent’ performance called, I ‘Faust.’ The principal female character, a person called Marguerite, has a baby and—you'll hardly believe it—she is not even married! The interviewer turned horror. excellent idea,” said the inter- to helie pale with “T have suggested to the management that they have some one write a wedding scene to be interpolated at the end of the first act. That of course would remedy the situation. But they didn’t kindly to my suggestion.” “You are certainly doing work,” said the interviewer. ever read—?” Is it indecent?” “Then I never read it. busy for frivolous lite real, life is earnest,’ is my gui Also, “To the pure no thing: “An excellent motto,” viewer. “As Shakespeare s: “Things that are obscene should not be heard.’ If T had my way I'd have a constitutional amend- ment abolishing sex entirely. But 1 suppose the feminists would never stand for th he added reflectively. “I am preparing a list of pure books for use in high schools,” he continued, “Certified Literature, I call it. Here's the list to date: “"The Water Babies’ “The Clean Heart” listen valuable “Did you Mr. Sumner asked. T'm much too ure. “Life is ig motto. e pure.” said the inter- ; es BANG A safe and sane Fourth. wi | Cop—Say, you! “Of course not! “The Life of Anthony (Edited for School use) *‘Wentworth’s Algebra’ Colgate’s Soap Catalog’ Williams’ ditto.’ ” ta kick in the | viewer. Zach book will be stamped 4 teed under the Pure Book Act,” si Mr.Sumner. Jona Cunntncnam. Comstock’ * said the inter- Never Foolhardy Friend—And isn’t your husband quar- relsome at home, Mrs. Mrs Casey—He is not. hunger fer fightin’, but he desperate fer it. Case Pat never gets may a Cantcha look where yer going? It isn’t that kind of a car.” The Proxy “Fourth” Patmortc citizens along our street are being urged to finance a fitting cele- bration of the Fourth of July. By the payment of double-time wages for a holiday, we hope to keep on the job the workers on the noisy apart- ment. fi Unless we do that, there are grounds for alarm that the workmen will unpatri- otically knock off for the whole day and the “Fourth” silent. We have nice, big, house across. the oing up become sadly and strangely only to keep the laborers merrily at it, and all will be well. The pneumatic riveters and general pounding will supply all the racket we could : Bells and bonfires will not be lacking in the course of the construction. And we know by this time that the healthy shout- ing usually kept up all day by the crafts- men will serve as the most jolly sort. of huzzas—all we will have to do is chime in with “Hurray for the Fourth of July!” As for the skyrockets, we need. only step over and ask the agent on the premises for this new apartment. house what the rents are going tobe. B.D. How Natural For the fourth time the corporation lawyer conducting the cross-examination led around to the accident. “You that after the street car passed, the man was seen lying on the ground with his sealp bleeding. Did the car hit him?” “Naw!” ness. say exploded the exasperated wit- “The conductor leaned out. and bit him as he went by.” comicbooks.com