Judge — June 21, 1924 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

/5 — < Leer, The Husband—1 wish you wouldn't talk while I'm shaving; you've made me cut my chin! The Wife—Never mind, dear—you've got two more. Meet Mr. Spiffkins know Midas Q. Maybe you don't. Well, shake hands with the old skinflint anyway. Mr. Spiffkins—Mr. Genteel Reader: Mr. G. Reader—Mr. Spiffkins. And now that Spiffkins’s back is turned, let me tell you something about him. That. man— Well, that man is the most parsimoni- ous Caucasian that T know of. Spiffkins would cut off his dfather’s whiskers. and start a mattress factory with them if he had the opportunity to obtain the capital by rifling his pet nephew's dime Why the fact that he was given a middle name. Wastes too much ink, it—even the bare initial. you already [axe Spiffkins. safe. Spiffkins has often lamented says, writing And the ink Ife uses the hotel's, and he doesn’t reside there, either. Spiffkins knows where to get necktie: r than anywhere else in town, isn’t even his! shoes, suits, and. suspenders ‘s the use of spending. sixty, seventy dollars for a suit at Brothers?” he one day he ind cd, brows a-furrow, as uted an advertisement in an from aper whieh he had just picked up a neighboring seat in’ the train, Spiffy always picks up newspapers when he ist't looking over somebody's shoulder, can show you at good wholesale place that will save you good money!” he con- tinued, He took me up there and L bought a suit. ‘ood suit, all right. but later men told me that Spiffkins had made a three-dollar commission on me above the wholesale price. Spiffkins had telephoned the boss before he took me up to the store to jack up the price three berri the surplus to him. One Sund Spiffkins family riding along the Boule- mid gi ufternoon T saw the entire vard in a brand-new seven-passenger Paddlewhack m: Spiffkins himself was there, comfortably seated next to a an at the whe t time! he ance, having shine, sporty young “Had next) morni beamed the with ay shoes shone Drass knob r 1 polished one of those chain shoe repair shops by smonstrator of an electrical shining Lis to all transients. Ve covered forty miles on the North 1 Spiffkins. “Nice old boat The Paddlewhack people arc Might Sho at t trying to sell me one. get one, too, T later discovered it was the seven- teenth free ride Spiffkins enjoyed in the different seventeen automobile of seventeen car manufacturers on SUCCESSIVE Sundays. But Spiffkins did) buy months later, Tt machi asked several Blotz, He called me up one day and aocar was rebuilt to yo along for a ride. I t there catch im it. «owas. Spiffkins made me pay for me Is some Max Line. ttt Beelzchub—We ve new paving material for Tk chief. Lucifer—What’s the matter with the old stuff? about a te Drive, got to “Why, this new erowd refuses to have any good intentions.” Big Business The When daughter? Old do Gentleman (sarcastically) — you expect. to marry my soon as the anmouncement of our ent has given me a line of comicbooks.com