Judge, 1924-06-21 · page 18 of 36
Judge — June 21, 1924 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"The Distance Fiend"** satirizes an absurd personality type: someone obsessively seeking status through geographical remoteness. The joke targets social climbing via conspicuous consumption—he commutes fifty miles daily, eats African peaches instead of local produce, imports Ceylon milk, and only courts women via long-distance telephone. His will specifies burial in the Gobi Desert. The satire mocks wealthy eccentrics who confuse distance/exoticism with superiority, unable to find value in accessible pleasures. **"They say Pauline's fiancé has money to burn"** appears to be a caption joke about wealthy suitors. **"Racial"** presents a quip about President Coolidge calling the White House "an American home"—likely ironic commentary on his perceived coldness or detachment. The page includes fanciful etymologies for "hum-dinger" and "whoops" (supposedly from royal court anecdotes), which appear to be humorous fabrications rather than serious historical claims.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Distance Fiend fiend; seeking through- out the night to get the remotest station; scoffing at those nearby; exult- ut whispers from afar off. i distance fiend, and in all things tent. He commutes fifty. m daily to his job le he says there is “no credit” in short distance commuting. Anybody ean do that. ing in f He cons He eats only food that has been brought a long way. He eamnot et strawberries or new peas in season. T' are too plentiful. He revels in fresh peaches from Africa, Milk he abhors, and will have none of, since it me dred miles away. ‘There is nothing to boast of in that. He prefers coffee to tea because he thinks Java is further off than come from cows not a hun- “They say Pauline’s fiancé has money to burn.” “Well, he’s met his match.” Ceylon, His ideal in’ drink would le milk from a goat on Mount rest. He is still a bachelor because all the young women whom he knows live too near him be worth his while. He would ne H up a girl exeept on the long-dis ‘phone. And all his ac- quaintances are in the city or suburl directory. nee te He has made a wi on, his exceutors wi in the Desert of Gobi. tance fiend. and when he pass nge for his bur For he is a dis- A. Hi. Fouweut. Racial “T see Mr. Coolidge calls the White House an American home.” “That's right. Everybody but. the boss all talking at once. tain News Origins of Famous Expletives Tire rn isa sivall, low growing weed which is found in many parts of Mis- sissippi and Missouri, preparation of shortcake. Although itis notgene nd is used inthe hum-made | strawberry ally known, be: Mast it must 1 The festival of dinging the hum is considered a fore the hum can be shippe he thoroughly clean and ¢ event, and is accompanied by and playing on the lite. A visitor toa hum farm, observing th ceremonies in full swing, inquired of 4 native in carnival costume the name of the festival. “it The expression | a hum-dinger,” replied the native. as been in common use since, The court of Queen Vietoria was noted for the extreme courtesy whieh it paid to elderly: monarch. “She was held in fection and esteem by all. Shortly after the birth of little Edward, the good queen was disturbed in the night by the child's conghin, nl hastily: sum- J the court physician, “What manner of cough is that?” in- quired Queen Victor “Whoops, my dear,” replied the elderly physician kindly. The expression has since become a colloquiali n Ts21 FORD COUPE, and just bee From For Sal always had best inted and overhauled wns of The Rocky Moun- Or, in headlines: “Flivver, Past Cen- tury Mark, Attributes Ol Age to Cos: meties.” The strap-hanger enjoys nature. comicbooks.com