Judge, 1924-06-21 · page 13 of 36
Judge — June 21, 1924 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This Judge magazine page contains three satirical sections: **"The Hotel Bed"** is a humorous complaint about hotel bedding—uncomfortable mattress springs, inadequate blankets, and the impossible task of reading while propped up in bed. The joke targets the poor quality of hotel furnishings of the era. **"No Plus Ultra"** contains brief gossip items: mocking a fastidious man's grooming habits, and satirizing Dr. Potter's plan to unveil a church statue of "man emerging from the monkey" (a jab at Modernism vs. religious tradition). A German scientist's claim that North America is drifting toward China is presented as absurd. **"The Young Idea"** ridicules students' written exam answers from a Connecticut school—deliberately absurd definitions showing educational failure (e.g., "specific gravity is any kind of gravity that is specific"). **The taxi cartoon** shows a driver with a damaged mudguard sarcastically claiming nothing's wrong with his vehicle—simple working-class humor. The overall tone is light satire targeting hotels, modern religious controversy, scientific sensationalism, and educational inadequacy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Hotel Bed A fit habit of sleeping in beds part of the time is still persisted in by human Mah Jongg, bed comes beings, in spite of poke radio and gunmen. The hot in all sizes and shapes and equipment, When it has springs, you wish it had not, and when it has not, you wish it’ had. with and without springs. In case of springs, these are crouched in various places under the mattress, and during the long stretches of the night, rise and fall in harmonious disagreement with your pros- trate form. In winter, every hotel bed is covered with a sheet, a white flowered counterpane of the texture of sheet iron, but without any heat, and a blanket, in comparison with which ordinary mosquito netting feels like an ulster. Before retiring in winter, you turn off the steam which has heated the room to 108 Fahrenheit, open the window about two inches, remove the counterpane and draw the blanket up so that the bottom covers your knees. ‘Two hours later you below with chilblains. You then pile on the bottom of the hotel bed everything in sight, including your o' coat, the plush table cover and. the ning paper. One of the most active indoor sports is trying to adjust a hotel bed so that you can see to read while sitting in it propped up. Every hotel bed has two soft pillows in which a few bled. athers have been assem- The idea is to place these pillows on your back so the iron bars of the bed do not penetrate to a depth of more than four inches, while at the same time you suceced in preventing the pillows from slipping through to the floor. Hotel beds double When you *, the bed is double, or and twin, yourself are sins When sometimes sing twin. they are tnd sometimes twin, If mare double, you are ona hurried honeymoon whieh is the only kind to have nowadays: — and have not made a contract in advance, they are twin. Tf you have been married forty or fifty years, they are always single. Plus Ultra ald is very fastidions about mice, isnt he? Oh, my dear! June T swear that he uses slikum on his eyebrows. PR Piattal Dr. Potter will unveil in his chureh a statue of man Not to be Bryan champion of Modernism, emerging from the monkey Willian continue out pre Jenning will the spectacle of monkey emerging from man. ably ttt \ German scientist. has announced that the North American continent is moving toward China. A last, of the a are-we-drifting solution, at sold problem of whither- The Young Idea Some answers from a Connecticut public school examination) | as Middle Ages are when about thirty or thirty-five y Ghibellines were the machines people sold. had their heads cut off on in the French evolution The Grand Banks are those the Federal Reserves keep their money in, Water boils because when the fire hot enough it has to, Specifie gravity is any kind of gravity that is specific and not just The American colonies rebelled i the Mother country because Great Britain wanted to make all the people in Boston drink nothing but tea, An equinox was an animal worshiped by the ancient: Egyptiar General achieve- Sherman's greatest ment was saying, “War is TH 1 A capital tax is a tax that people think is all right Demonstration Demanded Junior (to rich uncle who is visiting family)—Well, let's sce you burn some money. Secretary Hoover has appealed to coal consumers to lay in their winter's supply of coal this summer \ novel suggestion which is sure to catch on instantly. Taxi Driver—Just look at my mudguard, will yuh! “Yas, and I s’pose my axle ain’t sprung, either!” ul comicbooks.com