Judge — June 14, 1924 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Bonus, of Japanese exclusion, of tax reduction, of the World Court? It’s a challenge to Best Minds under the most favor. able circumstances. In this instance their deliberations will be complicated by the sneers and catcalls of the radic: But leave it to Lodge. He will produce something that looks like a platform though it be made of nothing but trap- doors. BUT will the candidate leave it to Lodge? Four years ago one of the most popular of indoor sports was calling Woodrow Wilson an autocrat. This ery of autocrat was first raised in Congress by Lodge and others who found con- sulting the wishes of the President inconvenient. It gained momentum until Harding felt obliged to promise that under him Congress would be permitted to function without pressure from the White House and he would abide by the decisions of the Best Minds. “Government is a simple thing, after all.” ‘That was four years ago, and now what? Now what the country longs for more than anything clse in the line of govern- ment is another autocrat in the White House. There may hi been other moments in our national history when Congress was “Mr. McApoo, you have been summoned here to show cause why even a candidate for President shouldn’t display a sense of humor.” “But I don’t quite understand the charge, your Honor.” “Very well. In all your recent speeches and statements you insist that the oil and other scandals in Washington con- stitute the main issue of the campaign. If nominate: intend harping on these scandals until Election Da: “T most certainly do.” “Don’t you think the American people have suffered enough frome CORRE HON in government without having Doheny’s regarded with equal contempt and impatience, but if so they dexy. i : ~ gy: Hel 7 are not on record. Best Minds be jiggered! _ Your Honor, I consider the Court's insinuation most “iii, national attitude is something that Calvin Coolidge Saad I only represented Mr. Doheny in Mexico. might study with decided advantage to his prospects. The Do you think Mr. Doheny’s intentions toward the govern- : dijcit of Mexico.were aly imore benevolont-tlian toward ollt country doesn’t care a hang fora platform from the Best Minds, own?” ° It hopes they choke, and it would do its heart good to see him “T have no opinion on that score. Iwas simply earning my tz invamiong them at ¢ leveland, cut the Laxlges and Peppers a lawyer.” . ©" and Moseses out of the herd and ride ’em, Cal boy, ride “em! “Your contingent fee of one million dollars, you mean? Dear, dear, you do lack humor, don’t you? Maybe you're a member of the Ku Klux Kle “Why, your Honor, really... !” “Well, I don’t want to be too hard on you, but, you know, aman who can represent Doheny in Mexico and preach against the corrupt partnership of Big Busin nd government in the United States, who can satisfy the Ku Klux vote and simul- taneously cater to Labor, might belong to the Klan and the knights of Columbus, too. Did you ever hear what happened to the chameleon that wandered on to a piece of Scotch plaid? No? He burst. Go thou and do likewise.” 1, do you fee Overheard at the Republican Convention: A band of Southern delegates singing “Slemp, Slemp, Slemp, the Boys are Marching.” Tue PROBLEMS before the two National Conventions are curiously reversed. Thanks to the unexampled perversities of Congress and the habit oil has of spreading, the Democrats have a platform practically ready-made for them. It is the picking of a candidate that will leave them sore and sarcastic. The Republican Convention, on the other hand, so far as picking a candidate is concerned, will act merely as a rubber stamp. Mr. Coolidge need only step over the prostrate and quiescent form of Hiram Johnson to receive the virtually unani- mous endorsement of the delegates. It is their platform that is giving the Republicans headaches. ing repudiated, almost without exception, all the policies for which their candidate has argued and fought, how are the Elder Statesmen of the G. O. P. to fashion the planks on which both he and they can stand? What will they say of the comicbooks.com