Judge, 1924-05-24 · page 9 of 36
Judge — May 24, 1924 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page **"The Lonesome Amoeba"** is a whimsical poem mocking the isolation of single life, particularly among college men. It personifies an amoeba as a lonely bachelor yearning for companionship—luncheons, poker games, alumni outings with attractive women ("Sheba"), even parenthood. The joke culminates in the amoeba finding a mate, only to discover that partnership creates its own complications ("the trouble was started"). This satirizes the ambivalence many young men felt about bachelorhood versus marriage. **"Golf Socks"** is a cartoon by H. Albright showing exaggerated characters in a comedic conflict over athletic wear—likely poking fun at the pretentiousness of collegiate sporting culture. **"The Quick and the Dumb"** presents Lucretia, a professor's niece, as ironically stupid despite her intellectual pedigree. The satire targets the assumption that academic breeding ensures intelligence. Lucretia can only respond with vague utterances ("Rathah," "Awfully"), suggesting that hereditary advantage and actual capability are unrelated—a gentle critique of class assumptions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Lonesome Amoeba LONE, when eternity first began d The primeval amaba slumbered; {lone for an evident endless span, Alone for cycles unnumbered. And many a moonless, weary night The amaba wept in reflection At how alone he must fight his fight And grow wise by introspection. Never a fellow-amaba to treat, Never a luncheon or smoker, Nor any barkeep or policeman to greet, Never a hand for stud poker. Never a dear old alumnus amaba To redrink the old drinks and rollick Out to the game with a starry-eyed Sheba, Never a Itid to have colic. 0 for a jovial mate so that he Or it might live happy forever In some sort of concert with some favored she Or it—not too damnably clever. gin “PIL part with myself —and he parted “And now there are two of us, dear—a bit thin— “But tiwo—" and the trouble was started. John E. MeGorern, Jr., U. of Pennsyl- rania. saa Frosh—They even had liquid soap up at the Gamma house. Barl- » theyll drink anything. —Ray Law, Stanford, > 23. H. Auaricnt, Carnegie Tech. '26. Golf socks. W. Act III. JouNsoN, Penn State ‘24. Seen Three. Opening night. The Quick and the Dumb veRETIA is) Professor Munchausen’s niece. The poor girl was handicapped even before birth, Most of her ancestors were college professors. Sur- prising thing, though, the intellectual stigma passed her by. Lucretia is dumb, ghtfully dumb. “Well, Lucretia?” we said, playfully pinching her car. “Rathah!” she said. “Rather what? Come, be explicit.” Yh, just rathah!* “But, my dear, you can’t be just rather. You must be rather something. For example, let us say you are rather dumb—what?” *Awfully!” We both tittered ell me, Lucre jal?” “It would be a good idea,” she answered, looking at the clock. “Don't be so dumb,” we at our wit. we said, “what do you think of the oil scand. id, patting her in “Tt would be a good idea,” she repeated, our hat. We went. Perhaps Lucretia is not so dumb, after all—Abel Meeropol, College of the City of New York. king at comicbooks.com