Judge — May 24, 1924 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Jot Rosen, Rice Institute. Finis! They Are called The Finals. For Some of Us This is More Truth than Po- etry. Theodore C. Kuhn, Cornell. xed Admiring Frosh (coming out of chapel) -Do you know, old top, that was a really interesting talk we just heard. Awfully well timed, too, don’t you think? Bored Soph—Well, it was certainly well timed. I noticed at least fifteen guys looking at their watche -R. Cole. Carnegie Tech, °26. Thin—S'too bad, old boy, but don’t cry over spilt milk! Thick—You're all wrong, brother—that ain’t milk. Dormitory Dan HERE'S a highly peculiar fact That no one has noticed but That the curbs become terribly stac Along about ha’ past three. And the streets become rubber, and bend, And poles are more easy and free, As my way back to college TE wend Stone broke—about ha’ past thr It’s odd how the taxis can leap And the trolleys run sideways, L see, As I come back to the Dorms in Along about ha’ past three. But it’s a glorious thing to know And 1 do—about ha’ past three— That wherever the wind may blow T am nobody else but me. —John E. McGovern, Jr., U. sylvania, A Little Guide for Crucial Moments 1 How to Accept the Presidency of the United States. Extend the right hand, palm up, with the chin in and the chest out. Do anything you want to with the other hand. Personally, whenever we are offered the Presidency of the United States, we use the other hand to flick the gold dust from our neck-tie. It is a good idea not to hold out the right hand, palm up, too long: the palm of the hand is likely to become blistere are offered in the latter part of July. Turn the hand over, after a while. , since most Presidencies 2. How to Sing the Aria from “Carmen.” Some people sing this thing one way, and some another. Our neighbors, for instance, say that we sing it something terrible. One of the best ways to sing this selection is to get a good sharp knife— butcher, pocket, or plain—and go out into the country. Once there, find a place where the ground is fairly soft but not too damp, and play mumble pegs. Of course, if you want to sing while playing mumblety-pegs, that is all right with us. 3. What to Do When Run Over by a Street Car. Rest the weight of the body firmly on both feet, with the left a little advanced. Of course, you may say that it isn’t possible to rest the weight of the body firmly on both feet when run over by a street car, but if you aren't going to co-operate, there’s no use working this thing out at all. Anyway, having placed the weight of the body firmly on both feet, with the left a little advanced, bring the right foot forward and shift the weight to it. Repeat, idly. You will be surprised to find how swiftly this simple operation takes you out of the neighbor- hood. If the conductor says anything, tell him to mind his own business.—Northeutt Ely, Stanford, '24. me, hed ee. a heap of Penn. Kennett Fercuson, Stanford ‘25. An opening for a good man. comicbooks.com