Judge, 1924-05-17 · page 7 of 36
Judge — May 17, 1924 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This "Reporter's Guide" satirizes common excuses used to justify poor service or products. The page collects stock responses salespeople, professionals, and service providers use to deflect customer complaints. Examples include: a hairdresser defending a bobbed haircut, a shoe salesman claiming tight shoes will stretch, a realtor dismissing a long commute, a photographer prioritizing "spirit" over likeness, and a dentist claiming a patient's nerve is "dead." The smaller cartoons mock other social evasions: a floorwalker's euphemism for women's shoes; two drunk men disagreeing about whether it's sunrise; a pickle company's rebranding scheme; and a reference to Calvin Coolidge's notoriously taciturn nature. The satire targets 1920s consumer culture—the gap between business promises and reality, and the clever rhetorical strategies used to manipulate customers into accepting mediocrity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Tue Retorters’ Guipe A Set of Efficacious and Handy Answers to Objections Frequently Met “si rs. Buivens said her husband M thought the same as you, but now she has had it bobbed he thinks she looks lots better.” “They maybe seem a little tight now, on account of your being used to the old ones, but after you w a day or so, and they get shaped to your foot “Yes, it is a trifle over eighteen minutes from the station, but you'll soon get so you'll enjoy the walk.” “Madam must remember that this is an exclusive shop, and that the prices therefore n’t expect a wrist watch to y good time; it’s the appear- counts.” an put in oversize pistons for you, if you won't take the car with- out them, but the compression is really all right; it’s just. that. the engine is well worn in.” “You'must. remember that, in por- traiture, it is the spirit of the sitter that we strive to grasp, rather than a slavish likeness.” “With a young fellow like you, it’s the future he ought to think of.” “Whatcha scared about? Nobody's going to come around here at this time of night.” “We have to charge high, to make sure that only the highest class busi- ness men in the community get their photo and biography in this book.” “Tl stop just soon as you tell me to, and an) it won't hurt a hit; the nerve is dead by now.” cote "but saat ‘rinkle below ine Mr. Baumeister—Now, Shultz, all we gotta do is figger out how t’ make that say “Shultz and Baumeister’s Eureka Pickles,” and th’ firm is made! Provacanpa Proor Phil—I suppose you've read Boswell’s life of Johnson? Bill—Not me. I'm a Coolidge man—first, last and always! pressed—” Nakep Trutu Missus (at the revue)—Those horrid dancers! They should have the law on them! Mister—Well, T suppose that might help a little. soe Peggy—So you don’t enjoy the country? ah ty Polly—Well, of course it’s useful for a motor trip. ane A CompLex PropLem First Inebriated Party—'S beaw ful aw ri’, but how you know it’s a “I want something for my dogs.” sunrise? Looks ta me lik “ano. Floorwalker—Leashes and whips in Second Scofflaw—Mebbe you're right, ol’ feller. Mebbe we're not the basement, Miss. Ladies’ shoes to lookin’ at th’ same thing. the right.