Judge, 1924-04-19 · page 13 of 36
Judge — April 19, 1924 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Discontentment: A Satire on Prohibition This playlet satirizes the unintended consequences of Prohibition (1920-1933). Cal, a poor mountain man who cannot afford honest food, becomes prosperous by illegally selling bootleg liquor—"150 quarts of my illicit booze." His family, previously destitute and complaining, suddenly rejoices at newfound luxury: ermine coats, silk stockings, and the ability to leave their squalid existence. The joke cuts both ways: it mocks both the family's materialistic desperation and, implicitly, Prohibition itself as creating a black market where criminals profit while honest citizens suffer. The irony—that lawbreaking provides better living than legal poverty—suggests the policy's failure and moral absurdity. The accompanying "Humorists' A-B-C" is unrelated joke material using alphabet entries for contemporary satirical references (taxes, vampires, flappers, etc.), typical Judge magazine filler.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DIscONTENTMENT A Playlet in Verse Cnaracters—Cal, a rugyed man of the mountains. Nell, his wife. Gertie, his daughter. Serrinc—A little cabin in the mountains. Time—Midwinter. Newt (pacing the little cabin floor) It’s a gitten cold and dreary and thar ain't a bite to eat, Cal is in the gutter and the gutter’s in the street. Gertie, you're my daughte And I've got a worthle ertie, Um your ma, and and you've gota worthless pa. Thar ain’t no hoe to hoe the corn and thar aint no corn to hoe. Gertie, git your apron, and give your nose a blow. Enter Cal, followed by two houn? doys. Wherein’ell is Bertie, and wherein’ell is Nell: Wherein’ell’s my supper, and where-in’ell is ‘ell? Come, thar, my wife and daughter, and hark ye to the new Fve sold 150 quarts of my. illicit booze. Generis (happily). Huzzah, my wayward father, I'm glad ya sold the stuff, My neck will feel an ermine coat, my hands will feel a muff. And thar'll be silken stockings to hide my naked boug No longer will T have to milk your darned old sleepy cows. ERTIE AND NELI (together). The milk is full of water and we're hankerin’ to roam But when our Cal can sell his stuff thar aint no place like home. H. PF. Tayvor. King Solomon gets a note to mail on his way to the office. Ture Henmorists’ A-B-C (Offered as a first aid to wits at a loss for a good, novel idea.) r actor whose Hamlet's a yell. the boot! for the costumes the chorus doesn’t wear. 1) for the dentist with his little « never seen, dresses very swell. how coarse!” telling a tale. 3 also jury and jail. K forthe Ku Klux. Sh! Not a word! 1. for the landlord, a hd ed bird. M for a-in-law—neve N for the newly-weds, Honey Pet. © for the opera they make into jazz. P for the poet whose stuff gets the razz. Q for the questions that Willie asks pa. R_ for the rent—much too lofty by f S_ for the skirts—whether lengthy or short. Patrick—So you're surprised, eh? And if Oi told yez whur Oi got it ye’d be doomfounded! T for the taxes the taxis extort. U_ for the “uke” played at V_ for the vampire with never much worn, W for waiter who keep: X for the French X wn. O, Ta, la! Y for the yeast that peps up the home-brew. You will all know what Z is—but darned if J do! in the morn, comicbooks.com