Judge — March 29, 1924 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Aspirin Beware of of Imitations! Unless you see the “B: Cross” on package or on tablets you are not getting the genuine Bayer Aspirin proved safe by millions and pri ans over twenty-three 5 Colds ‘Toothache Neuritis Neuralgia Headache Lumbago. Rheumatism Pain, Pain Accept “Bayer Tablets of Aspirin” Each unbroken directions. cost fer of 2 of B: ester of only. Kage contains proven Handy boxes of twelve tablets cents. Druggists also sell bottles nd 100. Aspirin is the trade mark Manufacture of Monoaceticacid- | ilicylicacid. ‘The Saxophone is the easiest of all wind instruments to play and the Gweetest in tone. | Entertainment. BaozscHex., We SAXOPHONE a marvelons fostrament—the, only one with convenient ads.” Easy payment terms can be arranged if desired: making it very e-ay to pay. Six days" free. frig | showed. 3 Wrks for Free Book sboct tha Saxon hone and UESCHER BAND! ISTRUMENT CO. ‘ane Sa ae PATENTS # ‘service noted for results, evidenced Frere of extraordinary value. Book, Patent-Sense., bs: &Lacey, 667 F St.,Wash.,0.C. Estab. 186: Salesmershtosinaweek re t | aD Scpatetene charge, a by many well known suit and overcoats direct to wearer, All wool 2 summer suite $21.66, Aico ~ Comsileions in! 4 Bs ‘SIMPSON, Inc, “Dont-b40, BAS. Adams St.,: Chica 1.60. fal aloes UR WISE men view with great alarm the spread of wickedness and woe; crime seems to have a fatal charm for all the creatures here be- low. The peelers work twel hours a | , they're always keen on error’s tr and still more sinners get away than ever hit the county jail. ‘To-day I sought the druggist’s store to buy a can of shaving soap; the druggist proved to be a bore who wished to sell me other dope. The druggist took me by the | ear and led me all around his coop; a | package there, a bottle here, a powder for membranous croup; he showed me kegs of spavin cure, and compound essences of squills, carbolic acid doped and pure, and fifty-seven kinds of pills. He showed me comfits in a box, and quinine capsules in a tin; he was resolved to get the rocks I toiled so hard to gather in. ‘This sort of crime is practiced much wherever mer- chant princes are; when you go forth to | buy a crutch they try to sell you kegs of tar; they strive to sell you fountain pens and home brewed drinks and easy-chairs, | and Smart Set mags and setting hens and shaving sets and polar bears; they try to work off wooden legs and eight-day clocks and china cups, and oxford shoes and estrich eggs, wood alcohol and dachshund | pups. It is a crime to try to sell the things a patron does not wish, and when I go to buy a bell I do not want a can of fish. But war disorganized the race, we suffer sadly from the shock; and now our mer- chant princes chase a customer around a | block, to sell him things he does not need, The successful American. THE WAVE OF CRIME to sell him junk he can’t desire, to sell him skates and garden seed when he would merely buy a lyre. T" WAVE of crime moves on apace; my old bus knocks itself apart, and to the grim mechanic's place I take it, with a sinking heart. I've known the stern me- chanic long; the village smithy once was his: he is ak an and strong, aud he enjoyed a first-rate biz. He shod dun mules and sorrel mares, and made old rusty plowshares bright; and he was free from sordid cares if he took home three bucks at night. Three bucks seemed then a fine reward for toiling roundly through the day, and pawing horseshoes the cord, and making heavy play. And he is surly, gruff and dour while working on my busted shay; and now he charges for an hour, half what he once charged for a day. And when his weary task is done, and I have paid his robber bill, I find P've not sufficient mon my yawning gas tank for to fill. I fill the air with bitter groans, my heart enshrouded is in gloom; he's stripped me of the hard-earned bones that I had saved to buy a tomb. Thome- ward drive among the trucks, my fur rowed face suffused with tears; he’s taken all the shining bucks that I have earned in seven years. by hammers It is a time of bitter stress, and we are cinched by heartless sports; and there, alas, is no redress for weeping victims in the courts. Watt Mason. comicbooks.com