Judge — March 22, 1924 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Him — How is it that Philip never takes you to the theater any more? Her—Well, you see; one eve- ning it rained and we sat in the parlor.—Texas Ranger. oy Judge—Guilty or not guilty? Pat—Sure, and I'll have to hear the evidence first.—V irginia Reel. cy She—What do you call it when two persons are thinking of the same thing —mental telepathy? He—Sometimes it’s that and some- times it’s just plain embarrassment.— Texas Ranger. Officer: Where are you going? Drunk: Sh, oshifer. Don’t tell me. Let me guess. —Hamilton Royal Gaboon. It was a cold and stormy night. There was no fire in the furnace. They were sitting alone in the living- room. She had no coat. Neither did he. They shuddered to think how cold they might have been. —Johns Hopkins Black and Blue Jay. Footep AGAIN He saw her in the dark and kissed her, Murmuring in an undertone: “Who is it with lips of nectar?” She softly cooed: ‘The chaperone.” —Georgia Cracker. Alyce—I hear they’re going to open a free ice rink. Maliss—Good news for the cheap-skates.—Notre Dame Juggler. A® IRRITABLE old sportsman was aroused from his bed at three o'clock in the morning by the insistent ringing of his doorbell. On answering he found a seedy drunkard struggling hard to maintain his equilibrium. “What do you mean by waking me up at this hour?” “Ish you Mr. Smithe: What of it? “Ish you the gent what advertised for a partner to go lion huntin’ in Africa?” “Yes, I'm the gentleman. What do you want to know about it?” “Nothin’, ’ceptin’ I just wanted to tell you that on no condishums whatsoever will I go with you.”’—North Carolina Boll Weevil. “Stop! What do you think you are doing?” “Bout Record. forty - five.” — Yale sae Little Willie—I don't want to go to that damn school any more! Father (who is a bricklayer)—Why, Willie, where did you ever learn such a illiam Shakespeare words like that.” “Well, then, quit runnin’ around with him.”—Penn State Froth. uses soe “You say she is very old-fashioned?” “Yeh, very modest. “Kinda strict and proper, huh?” “Yeh, when she wants a drink she calls for “boot-limb” whisky.” — Washington Sun Dodger. PAYABLE IN ADVANCE “How come the girls call him Bill when his real name is John?” “Because he always comes around be- fore they are ready for him.” —Washing- ton Columns. Low Bridge. —Penn. Punch Bowl. comicbooks.com