Judge — March 15, 1924 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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Our pook Patent. 08 those facts; sent free. Write LACEY & LACEY, 057 St, Washington; D-C- Eetabilahed 1869. who derive | fet profits know SILVERS BATTERY with genuine AHLBELI. NEVERLEAK solid rubber case deakable Guaranteed Superior Quality iece indestructible case can’t leak, ill or injure rugs or clothing. Read these prices. % Discount for vy Ata = Cash in Full with Order caer agent. Bat. to your spproval, “Sead oasse Silvers BarreRY eee E. Ontario St, Dept.57 Chicago THROW YOUR VOICE Under the table, into a ‘Trunk, down Cellar or anywhere. Our lessons PEnTEILO peo teaches you, VENTRILO. (Gts in the mouth and cannot be seen) you {{ imitate Birds, Ani, mals, etc. with : moving your ie C4 This outfit and book of JOKES by mail for 10e. UNIVERSAL DIST. a Box 148 Stamford, Ct. Salesmen tosinaweck Selling our sui virgin wool siyeol pace Allone price 881.60, +70 bl tomer meg ecg Sa $21.50, Wondertal valves. Prstecter 5. Commiesions in advance, W: 4B, SiMPSOW, Ine. “Dent-ai0, B43 W. Adams $t., ‘Chieere Years and years and years passed. I had quite forgotten the incident. It was late in the fall of 1923 when I next heard of it. I was in the Crystal Room at the Ritz. Sitting at the next table were two men, one of whom I seemed to recall vaguely. But I was so successful that I decided not to remember him. Then I heard my name mentioned. Apologizing to the waiter I got down and put my ear to the floor, a trick I had learned from the Indians. I heard this conversation: “That’s funny.” “What?” “Seeing W. C. Fields here.” “You're crazy, man. Fields is dead. We killed him. aid the tall man, “I know it. That’s why it’s so funny.” I rose and went over to them. “‘Par- don my glove,” I said, “but Iam W. C. Fields. Why do you think I am dead?” The tall man rose. “Well, well, well,” he exclaimed. “What a coincidence. You are the man who shot with us at Fields’s head in that we Nebraska, aren't you?” Well, explanations were in order. It was plain that an error had been made. There were no hard feelings. They told me, and I sympathized and understood, that they were zither players. They were in fact fanatics on the art of the zither. They had resented my record- breaking rendition of the Prelude on the zither and had intended to make me an example. Happily, somebody else had fallen into their clutches. I learned later that it was Rachmaninoff. “Well,” I said, “it was zither his life or mine.” -known river in I had had, but bygones were bygones, and those two men, both excellent zither players, are to-day my best friends. Don’t Miss These Successes Jesse James Senior: Glorifying the American (?) Ticket Scalper. Runnin’ Wild: With a wonderful cast of the most careless drivers still at large. Speed. Thrills. Guaranteed totake you completely off your fect. Get a ticket from your traffic cop to-day. Magistrate House. Music Campbell. Statesmen and Muddles: A colossal potpourri of everything from foreign re- lations to local patronage and from the bonus and tax reduction to garden seeds and malodorous stogies. Introducing Senator Sillies’ latest song hit, “I Know by Frank You Would Rather Have Somebody Else, That’s Why T’ve Got the Laugh on You.” Anecdotes of 1847: The ideal show for after-dinner speakers. All old material. Follies of the Flask: Just the thing for the thirsty business man. An intoxica- ting revue, featuring Atta Baby and his band of forty bootleggers. (more or less) musical | I realized then what a narrow escape | Book by | Scene 16. New Safe Way To Remove Teeth Stains New Discovery Bleaches Dark Teeth Instantly A new safe treatment has been discovered which dissolves teeth stains instantly, giving dull, dingy teeth @ charming new whiteness and lustre. This new treatment is called the Bleachodent Combina- tion. It consists of a safe mild liquid and a new kind of paste. 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Gritty and abrasive dentifrices should never be used. _ if you want sparkling, white, pearly teeth get Bleacho- dent Combination Costs only a few cents Distributed by Bl lent Dental Laboratories and sold by drug a artment stores everywhere. ‘ou can produce wonderful, soft, sweet music from a common carpenter's saw with a violin bow or soft hammer, if you know } No musical ability required—you: need” not know one note from another. Easy toLearnin 3 Weeks Musseh! & Westphal, N MO beat HOMES! Y ‘OU can make $15 to $60 weekly inyour spare time writing show cards, No canvassing or soli ing. We instruct you by our new simple Directograph System, supply you with work and pay you cash each week. Write today for full particulars and free booklet. WEST-ANGUS SHOW CARD SERVICE LIMITED Authorized Capital $1,250,000.00 162 Colborne Building, | Toronto, Cans tions. Send model or sketch ot your: invention for our Examination and Instructions. No Charge for the vrlte for our tree. Guide SORD. Rosert Cyru O’Brien. 29 Above Information. ‘Terms reasonable. VICTOR J. EVANS & CO,, 813 Ninth, Washington, D. C, comicbooks.com