Judge — February 16, 1924 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JOHN HELD, JR. AT WORK “I didn’t know John used models, did you?” ELEVATORS [ure are clevators and clevators. Lots of buildings I know ought to print time-tables. If you miss the 10.53 you are out of luck. Going up isn’t half There are little bells which every once in awhile are a » in stopping the cars on their way down, On the other hand, it’s often the case of being marooned on the top floor without food or drink. By the time you get down again the suit you are wear- ing is out of style. Even joining the Elks and Masons won't get you anywhere. I've tried it. For your convenien as bad as getting down. you will often find little dials placed on the ground floor. They will tell you how many floors away your car is and enable you to figure ac- cordingly. For instance, if the dial regis- ters twenty-two, this means the elevator is on floor eight and will be about eight minutes in its ground flight (figuring one minute per floor). Now add five minutes for the ground floor halt—three minutes for starting after doors are closed which gives a total of sixteen minutes or just enough time to take a turkish bath and be back in time to catch it. Most buildings have a very elaborate and ingenious plan for conserving time in enabling you to find out what floor your party is on, without having to make the starter call up the engineer or superin- tendent. The name of your party will most history We Under which Zodiac Sign v you born? What Dur Oppor- tunities in life. 5 future prospects, , friends, enemies, suc and many other vital s indicated by ASTROLOGY, the and interesting science of you born under a lucky star? T will tell you free, the most interesting astrolog interpretation of the Zodiac Sign you we born under. Simpy send me the birth in your own handwi of this notice and pos cents in address. be written in pl send birth date "Do not fail to “send birthda s Print correct name and address to avoid ct date of your ‘To cover cost inclose twelve any form and y 1 interpretation will ge and sent to you A great Sur- nd to inclose ailing. Write now—TODAY—to the ASTA STUDIO, 309 Fifth Ave., Dept. 87, New York be on a board in the lobby and after it, the room number. Now the ingenious part of this is that the first number of the room number will be the floor on which thy room is located. For instance, room 803 will be on the eighth floor and you onl, have to go up there to find thatyour part) moved uptown to the Limbur Buildin three months ago. But, after all, there are cases when the elevator is a great boon to humanity. It develops and. strengthens the patienc: which every individual needs badly. Case 1—When the starter hurries you into a car just leaving and you sudden! realize that you have forgotten your floor Now youask theclevatorboy whopromptl tells you that you must ask the starter This enables you to ride to the forty second floor and back without having to pay a second fare or get a transfer. Case 2—When you are waiting to go down and three elevators have passed you —the boy calling out as he flies past, “Full ¢ Case 3—When you are jammed in a car and the boy closes gate only to find car will not work. Case 4—When just as you step in the gate is closed in your face and you are in structed to take the next car because the elevators are only made to carry eight passengers safely. You are going to tell me that there ar lots of worse : cases—of course there E. Ravn. Waste A little backwoods town an itinerant alesman, undeterred by the extrem poverty-stricken appearance of one house tried to sell the head of the family a cer tain article. He got the reply: . L only spent one dime in all my life for foolishness. An’ pair of socks.” that was for a American Legion Weekly. ered A party of over a thousand men emi- | grated from this country to America last |week. Useless, of course. It is Leap | Year the whole world over—London | Opinion. tote ow that so many ladies are divorced, and some of them more than once. | we need a new term for them. “Ex | wife” is crude, and one can hardly refer to an ex-ex-ex-wife. P. os it would be well to take a hint from the Free- hee and refer to her simply as the Past Grand Master —Passing Show. tt “Didn't you hear about it?” ‘No. | “But it happened in your neighbor- | hood.” | “I know—but my wife’s been awa, | —Pearson’s Weekly. aek\ Dra comicbooks.com