Judge, 1924-02-16 · page 3 of 36
Judge — February 16, 1924 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "His Valentine" by Judge Magazine This page presents a humorous poem by Georgian P. Chessman titled "His Valentine," satirizing a married man's conflicted thoughts about sending romantic valentines to various women while being bound to his wife. The poem lists desirable women (Nancy, Laura, Jane, Gladys) whom the speaker fantasizes about, but ultimately acknowledges his wife as the real obstacle to his romantic aspirations. The final couplet reveals the joke: he'll send his valentine to his wife instead—not from affection, but as damage control to "rid [his] soul of all this tension." The accompanying illustration shows a milkman making early morning deliveries, captioning a domestic complaint: his wife became sick, forcing him to handle household chores. The cartoon reinforces themes of marital obligation and domestic duty constraining male freedom.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN D tu PURSUIT JUDGE HIS VALENTINE V HERE shall I send my valentine- This punctured heart, with Cupid “round it? T know a heap of maids divine, But none is quite my style—confound it! There’s Helen, much too proud and cold— The girl’s a freak 1 iceberg debbie; She'd think t I was overbold If she surmised who sent it, “mebbe And dreamy Jane—but she's a high-brow, And philanthropic, which is worse; She sits and wrinkles up her eyebrow, To prose of uplift, and divorce! Then there's that lively little Naney— Of course, she’s nothing but a flapper— She has a way that takes my fancy; But all the same I'd like to slap her! There's Laura, with her empty pate— Great Scott, she is a raving beauty! “Lwould go to her as sure as fate, Were she not such a silly cutie. Slim Gladys thrills me to my toes, When full on me she turns he I'd fall for her, if chance aro: But she’s the vampiest of the vamps! ‘There are a lot that I might mention— Tean't decid To rid my soul of my lifes this tension, I'll send the blamed thing to—my wife! Georaians P. Cneesman. “Well, Rob, how are you and the folks?” “Wal, everything was goin’ fine till Thursday. Then my wife got sick and I had to get out and do the chores.” comicbooks.com