Judge — February 2, 1924 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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THROW YOUR VOICE Under the table, into a Truale down Cellar or anywhere, Our lessons VENTRILOQUISM teaches your With our VENTRILO (Gtsin the mouth and cannot be seen) imitate Birds, Ani- mals, etc. without moving your lips. ‘This outfit and book of JOKES by mail for 10. @ UNIVERSAL DIST. 2" Box 130 Stamford, Ct. Advertising in Film Fun Pays As comments from our advertisers testify: “One of our best pullers.” “Film Fun pays about three to one.” And many others—let us tell you more. Rates, 50 cents a Line, $200 a Page Published monthly by THE LESLIE-JUDGE CO. 627 West 43d St., New York MAH JONG SET $1 Complete with 136 tiles, racks and_dlce, All the fun of a $5 set.’ Why pay more? ECONOMY SERVICE COMPANY 322 Hennepin, Dept. K. Minneapolis, Minn. Agents: 16a Day ‘Amazing new selling plan doubles in ‘come and offers splendid profits to Jennings Mfg. Co., Hose C-72. Dayton, Ohio ALICE IN BUNGLELAND ¢ A np now, which of these finger posts ought I to follow, I wonder?” To Alice, who wished to find a way out of the liquor muddle, it seemed quite con- fusing that both finger posts should point along the same road, although one was marked “To Tweedlerum’s House,” and the other “To the House of Tweedletea.” At last she decided that the two must be inseparable, and after walking a long way in the wood suddenly came upon two, fat boys with smirking faces and realized she was in the presence of TWEEDLERUM AND TWEEDLETEA They were standing on two platforms that were very much in need of repair, one marked “Republican” and the other “Democratic.” Alice could see “Rum” on one boy’s collar, and “Tea” on the other's. As she was wondering how to start a conversation, “Rum” suddenly observed: “Don’t get the idea we’re not live issues; we cost a lot of money, you know.” By way of answer Alice repeated two verses of a popular song: Prohibition and the bootleg trust Were going to have a fight; For bootlegging had kicked the law Sky-higher than a kite. But down upon the two there fell Such wrath of all the nation, That both the villains thereupon Forgot their altercation. “Nothing to it at all,” boasted Tweedle- rum, “the organization is too strong.” “And anyway,” added Tweedletea, with a sneer, “I put the law over, and as long as I think the country’s dry, it is so. That's my argument.” Alice didn’t think she was getting in- formation of much value, but ventured the question: “Can't one of you tell me the best way out of the situation?” Whereupon Tweedlerum began: The sun was shining up above, Just where it ought to bes No bootleg stuff or home-brew gin Attracted you and me; And this was so because we had No Volstead law, you see. Some States were wet as wet could be, . And some were dry as dry; The people in them fixed it so Or knew the reason why. No revenue sleuths peeped i in your bag Tn search of Scotch or rye. Who could had wine, and others, beer, And whisky cheered the old; Quite true that some abused the gift And drank all they could hold, Yet for the few why should the rest Like slaves be bought and sold? Upon this scene of status quo ‘There came a crafty pair, A “soft-drink” manufacturer, And a man with cash to spare; They wept like anything to think That dry States were so rare. “Tf seven millions I should spend d print, ” the Croesus said, “They might,” “And I would own the mint.” 30 replied the soft-drink man, LOF & CO. 35; CHUINE ee ee ae nef Balance: div payments within ica are edie id White Golda? J. id White Gold;16 3: LOFTIS BROS. & 2108 N. Stato Street, as. Ac You have the location for this 5¢ Mint Vender where it can earn $25 to $50 a weel rofit. Requires no atten- ion . Pays out generously to pat- Irons and so is played constantly. Your profit sure. Or make arouna $100 a week by own- few Venders American Novelty Co., 2455 Archer fis, Chicago, Il Inquiries on financial matters are answered gratis by the Investment Bureau. 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