Judge — February 2, 1924 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

New Kind of Fuel —replaces coal in any stove or furnace ‘Y worry about coal—ashes—dirt— soot—dust—smoke—building fires— carrying ashes—uneven heat—coldrooms —coal strikes— shortages — exorbitant prices? No! Neveragainaslongasyoulive. INSTEAD—cheapheat—plentifulheat —sootless heat—ashless heat—smokeless heat—and all this without any change to our range, heater or furnace y simply installing a won- derful New Kind of Heat every family can afford. Twice the Heat of Coal Already over 150,000 Amer- ican housewives have equip- ped their homes with this amazing invention, called the Oliver Oil-Gas burner, because it burns 95 per cent air, only 5 per cent oil. It gives twice the heat of coal—is absolutely safe —will last a lifetime—guaranteed to give heating satisfaction. Installed in your stove inoneminute—then by simply turning a valve ou have muchorlittle eat, whenever you want it. Better Heating Don’t pay another coal bill—don’t go on with the dirt and drudgery of coal and wood, Send immediately forour Free Booklet which tells all about this amazing inven- tion—and how youcan use itin your own stoveon Mr. Oliver’s Special Low Price Introductory Offer. You will be entitled to this low price if you send the coupon immediately. No obli- gation. Fill out and get this coupon in the very first mail. OLIVER OILGAS BURNERS OLIVER OIL-GAS BURNER CO. B-34 Oliver Bldg. St, Oldest and largest manufacturers Oil-Gas Burners in the world Canadian Distributor B24 Oliver Building ‘Toronto, Ont. re prem north Oliver Oil-Gas Burner Co. -34 Oliver Bldg., St. Louis, Mo. . Please send me your FREE Book covering the § kind of a burner I am indicating below, and § Special Low Price Introductory Offer. I am § interested in a burner for Heating Stove. sige rnac Hot Air, Hot Wat Wrong Headed People ss HERE’LL be a lecture at the church to-morrow night at eight,” I said to J. Philander Perch, as he paused by my gate. ‘We have secured Professor Peach to make the welkin ring; some use- ful lessons he will teach, the village choir will sing. So, prithee, neighbor, come along, enjoy this goodly treat, an evening full of wit and song, with piety replete.” “I'd surely go there if I could,” replied this trifling skate, “but I have promised Jabez Good to help him celebrate. Some forty years ago, it seems, he landed on this earth, and now he’s full of joyous schemes to fill his home with mirth. And there'll be male and female ginks, to dance the hours away, and flagons filled with Vol- stead drinks, to make their hearts more gay. And I am billed to play some tunes upon my violin, while merrymakers with their spoons are sipping kickless gin.” “Ods bodikins,” I made reply, “‘it is a godless plan; far better hear our gifted guy uplift his fellow-man. Far better hear our village choir sing soul-enriching hymns, than fiddle like a house afire, while dancers swing their limbs. I know that nothing I-can say-will make you feel ashamed; full well I know you'll go your way, so go it and be blamed.” And so I to the lecture went and heard three hours of talk; it was a stream of w dom blent with facts that sear and kno! The learned professor took the hides from those who wildly tread, who shun the rede of moral guides and paint the village red. He advocated prison bars, the thumb- screws and the knout, for those who smoke five-cent cigars or fill themselves with kraut. He would apply the headsman’s ax, the hempen rope or gun, to anyone who sprinkles tacks where auto casings run. EXT MORNING when I left the hay, my Aunt Miranda said, “Philander Perch, the neighbors say, is quite three- quarters dead. He fiddled at a jamboree for Good, that sinful scout, and at ten minutes after three a deadly scrap broke out. And someone slugged him with a brick, and soaked him with a chair, and he was looking pretty sick when he crawled out of there.” “Gramercy,” quoth I, “now’s the time to seek him where he lies, and show his conduct was a crime, indecent and un- wise.” And so I went to his abode and found him packed in ice, with poultices around him sewed and hemstitched once or twice. “Now, by the rood,” I cried, “my this is your pay, this is the end of such unwhole- some joy Had you gone with me yes- ternight to hear the good old Prof, you would not now be such a sight, your whis- kers all torn off. Had you gone with me to the kirk,.to hear the grand old hymns, the village sawbones would not work around your busted limbs.” “Had I gone with you, as you say,” re- plied that sinful one, “I might be hale and 22 The housewife who used Self-raising Flour, then went to the neighbors and forgot about it. Rad well to-day, but I’d have missed much fun. Oh, gaffer, *twas a gorgeous night, *tis shame you were not there! I nevet saw a grander fight—I’m proud I had my share!” —Walt Mason. XUM comicbooks.com