Judge — February 2, 1924 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ON MOTORING anc! Is it a tire or some road- side hunter? Decide it is some passing auto. Crowd two irate motorists off the road trying to see left front tire. Take two pickets off fence looking at right front. Finally locate flat tire on right rear wheel. Look for a shady spot. Nota tree in sight. Stop, get out and begin look- ing for tools. Passing motorists yell, “Flat tire.” Find the jack, but not the handle. Remember you used it cracking nuts last Sunday, while out nutting. Walk into field, cut a sap- ling, return rapidly to auto on ac- count of over-friendly bull. Sapling bre: Run into field to get an- : other sapling. Get the wheel clear of WHAT WE WOULD LIKE TO DO the ground when machine moves for- to the motorman who speeds by us on a rainy day. ward and wheel drops to the ground again. Motorist makes wise crack. MAIDEN I HAVE found laughter, I have found woe, As I trudge on With the breezes that blow. T have found heaven, Ihave found hell Here in the ways Where we weak mortals dwell. I hear you asking What I’m speaking of; Ihave found heaven ym 5 1 Officer—You must be one o’ them danged agnostics—you don’t believe And hell—I’m in love! in nothin’! Set the break and start over. Finally get the tire off. C | The for the extra tire. Spend hour filing and I was are chain. Man who sold it to you said telling her on’ Kn, it couldn’t be done. Put extra tire the right a & on wheel. Get in and take one la 2e all is O. K. tart all over ag: two more saplings and ha foot race with the bull. Decide to go home on the old tire. Put it back on the wheel. Start for home. Nineteen motorists, ten traffic cops and innumerable small children yell, “Flat tire.” Decide it is time to get a new set of tires. Remember that this set isn’t paid for yet. Limp home and find collector for tire com- pany on the front steps with a bill for tires. Give him the car as first Salesman at Door—Good evening, sir; no home is complete without a Payment. radio set! —Verne Wickham. comicbooks.com