Judge — January 19, 1924 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Timid Customer—I'd like a cravat. Something — er — quiet, you know, for a distinguished-look- ing, finely set-up chap. Saleslady (sweetly)—I'm sure this will look charming on you. Two dozen, sir? sae “Hermann, how that dangh- under see “Let him! While he's squeezing he can’t be eating! Fliegende Blaetter. tae Little © Marion me to ome: “*Scuse me, Mister Crockydile! wanna run over de scales “fore I takes my music lesson.” I jus’ One million, two million, three million.”—UUs (Berlin). sae “What must I talk about to a lady to please her?” “Her beauty!” “And if she has none?” “About the plainness of others.”— Pasquino (Turin). tas Teacher—Can you tell me, little Erie, how many would ha you had « divide hetween you? Erie-Who would divide them; my sister or me? —Klods Hans (Copenhagen). ht apples to cd “When my wife starts to scold T go for a walk!” “Indeed! ‘The shoemaker told me you are one of his best customers! Der Brummer (Berlin). lawyer is “Doctor, can’t you help my “What's the matter with him?” “Oh, he worries so.” “About what? “About the money do something for him? “T think IT can. Send him to me; relieve him of some of his trouble.” Tit-Bits (London). Can’t you please | Cal | “T see you have bought a gramophone. | I thought you couldn't stand the sound of | the things!” “T can't. But my mother-in-law is staying with us, and she hates them more than I do.”—Aorsaren (Christiania). Aas little kissing | have the married Rhyme and Reason—A now and then is why w toe Saleswoman—We have the same model in orange, lemon, plum and strawberry. Jovial Little Man—1 know how. it’s woing to finish, But, yes, we have han Tit-Bits, no ' nas! sae “Bobby, did you take that message to r,as I told you?” “And what did you find out?” “Mrs. ‘Turner.”"—Weelly Telegraph. sae “IT am_very nervous. I want a nice, quiet maid. It must be a girl who never an- swers!” “T have the v girl, She formerly on telephone change!’ flas (Paris). us the ex. —Ruy SouTHean y . CALIFORNIA |UNSHINES YOWAL HIGHWAY WAT ONO UTE. TO OEL EW Heae Any suburban house you may consider buying—if you take the real estate agent’s word for it. _ Aspirin Beware of ‘of Imitations! Unless you see the “Bayer Cross” on package or on tablets you are not getting the genuine Bayer Aspirin proved safe by millions and prescribed by physicians over twenty-three years for Colds ‘Toothache Neuritis Neuralgia Headache Lumbago Rheumatism Pain, Pain Accept “Bayer Tablets of Aspirin’ only Each unbroken package contains proven directions. Handy boxes of twelve tablets cost few cents. rues also Fea bottles of 24 and 100, Aspirin is the park er Manufacture of Monos ntieacid= ester of Salieylicacid THROW YOUR VOICE Under the table, into a Trunk, down Cellar or anywhere. Our lessons in VENTRILOQUISM teaches you, With our VENTRILO (Gtsin the mouth and Cannot be seen) you imitate Birds, Ani- mals, etc. without moving your lips. This outfit and book of by mail for 10. JNIVERSAL DIS’ Box 129 Stamford, Ct. GOOPYESE RAINCOAT FREE ndyear Buil Looks lik $3802 Solitaire This. Cluster Ri Bargain & sec FREE Drcttuger hours of Bargains, Address Dept. U2381