Judge — January 19, 1924 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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STOT7_shoat and gnvslope, fo rich dark. blae, up to. 4 lines, t tow pripg deg act allow any Yarnton arising top | rai Type is Plate (istic, Be learheos and Good taste. Makes 8 per: lighted‘to wees An ideal gift nt cleatiy) with Le .00 Beact etery garae tm oraerenad cee Natioaal Stationery ton 2s econ ee We pay $200 monthly salary, furnish car and | expenses to introduce our guaranteed poultry and stock powders. Bigler Company, X665, Spring. field, Illinois. Relief Coughs Use PISO'S — this prescription quick relieves children and adults ty A pleasant syrup. No opiates. 35‘ and 60% sizes sold everywhere THE PUNCTURED PLEDGES MADE a vow on New Year's Day; all swear words I'd eschew, and piously I'd go my way, avoiding language blue. F'ye always been too much inclined to seek, when full of ire, the warmest words that T could find, and set the air afire. The women of my | household said “twas my besetting sin, and T should quit the habit dread, and hold such language in. Joy was enthroned on every brow with- in my humble door, when T signed up my | New Y ear vow, and said Pd cuss no mor A week or two T gu: s that once was wild. and not a sentence from me fell that might offend a child. It ned si y to abstain guage fierce T wondered that words loose, much cried day ypon an evil ‘Oh, won't line with flivver, bus and wain.” T'm always keen for wholesome games, and so I said, with smiles, “Put on your bonnets, gentle dames, and we shall drive nine miles. [have three quarts of Vol- stead gas, I have a pint of oil, so let us up the highway pass, and tear up tons of soil Right merrily we climbed aboard and chugged athwart the nd blessed the name of Henry Ford, and that of good John D. | And when we'd gone a verst or more the southeast tire went flat; the women cried, “Now, don’t get sore—there is no help in that! Be strong and pati he chaste true and and recollect the New Year vow we females saw you sign!” nd g T EN LIKE a martyr or a saint I toiled around the car, and got myself all | smeared with paint, and grease and oil and tar. I felt the blood within me leap, it sizzled and it boiled, but, “Now I lay me down to sleep,” I murmured as I toiled. I 24 profiiie slioild tie in aily: uses ‘XY The women of the household $ . St “You have a lot of family pride, haven't you, dad?” Coat of male. longed to make the welkin ring with lan- guage brimstone fraught, but “Lam sad- dest when I sing.” [ caroled as I wrought. And when the grisly: task women gave me_ praise, task is merely fun to. eve jays.” And then T swung. the wide with gesture free and bold, resumed our joyous ride across the sunlit wold. And we had killed) a parasang with cheerful laugh and shout, when with aloud and frightful bang the northwest tire blew out. “Restrain yourself.” the “Ww r as done the he hardest tempered throttle and we women cried, know you're now, but singe and pride—recail your New Year vow! Don't spring, in palpi- tating tones, words garbed in smoke and fire, ut t down on your marrow hones, and cl another tir And LT chok down the dra tic sas Bk asi i; “Yes, my son, a great deal.” ve ths a ea | Oe gy ‘Then help me with my alge- tives that bleed, pewter shay? The bra so that the fellows won't call like some stern signs are right, the me Blockhead Blackwell, any warrior who curbs | roads are fine, more.” the antics of his such sport is safe steed. I tore no and sane, and all the neighbors are in’ lexicon apart, saint like I did it a nd then the blamed car wouldn't start, and rain began to fall. And then [cast aside my pledge as something Td) outgrown, and set the women’s teeth on edge with piebald words and roan. The hours wore on and we were soaked, in that abandoned glen, and drez ily the ladies croaked, “Oh, please, say that again!” Walt Mason. The“ Hire” Aestheticism Young Bride- groom—Do you understand — this furnishing — hire system? Another Rather! ‘They send you new furniture and you pay so much a month for it. By the “yours. —Weekly — Tele- graph. Overdoing It Visitor—What brought you here? Convict—I attended too many dings, ma’am. “Ah! And you stole the presents?” “No, ma‘am. I was always the bride- groom.” wed comicbooks.com