Judge — January 12, 1924 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Let me send you this great book. Learn all about the wonderful electrical industry and how you can easily learn to earn $3,500 to $10,000 a year. BE A CERTIFICATED Electrical Expert EARN $70 to $200 A WEEK No matter whut kind of work you are doing now, or how much you earn, Electricity offers you more—a better Job and bigger Pay is waiting for you. Trained Elec- trical Experts (not common screw driver electricians) are in great demand at the highest salartes ever known. The | opportunities for advancement and a real success are | amazing. The enormous growth of the electrical in- dustry snaps up men faster than they can de trained. oder $3,000.00 to $10,000.00 Year | I will train yon at home in your spare time to earn this One big pay, In Just a few short months you will be ready for a wonderful job that I will help you get. Lack of education or experience doesn’t bar anyone. y plified, up-to-the-minute, easily up with my 20 years of engineering experience, guarantees your success. OUTFIT FREE Electrical Tools and Material I will give you free a whole outfit of electrical tools, measuring instruments and a real electric motor hot toys, but, the real thi ‘as no other HEY COME to me in many shapes, the men with books for sale; from my bosom oft escapes a low and plaintive wail; for I have studied men so long, I should know those who sin; and yet I’m always guessing wrong, and letting agents in. If they once get inside my shack they think the battle won, and worthless books in red and black they'll trade me for my mon. I do not fall for agents -heap who give their graft away by cringing like Uriah Heep, and talking by the day. The tin- horn agents I can spot as soon as they appear, and I can shoo them off the lot, and fill their souls with fear. And it is good to see them hike to beat the shriek- ing wind, to see them scorching down the pike, with my dog Shep behind. Oh, it is good to stop their flow of language high and shrill, and use upon them, as they go, the sword of Bunker Hill. But there are agents so sublime I can- not guess their graft until they’ve used up priceless time, and made me nearly daft. To-day before my cheap abode there stopped a limousine; it was a credit to the road, a thing of gold and green. And from this large and shining van, in which a king might ride, there stepped a tall and stately man, who walked with princely stride. He was a true aristocrat, in every gesture grand; he might have been a diplomat | from some old storied land. ‘T LATELY was in Washington,” he said, as he sat down; “TI like to see |how things are done in that historic town. I min- gled with the good and great, the noble and the fore. will start you right in after your first few lessons “doing practical work, in a Dractical way—work that "7ill poy, bat extra money while you are learning and from $3,500 to $10,000 a year when You are trained. | SATISFACTION GUARANTEED | I don’t merely promise you these things—I guarantee | them. I send you a signed bond guaranteeing to return your whole tuttion fee—erery penny you pay me—if you are not 100° satisfied after finishing my course. Mail Coupon Now :: Send me this coupon and T will mail you a $45.50 credit | check, (for limited time only). My big illustrated book | and the “Vital Facts of the Electrical Industry, “including my Free Outfit Offer. Mail the coupon today while the special reduced price is tn effect. L. L. COOKE, Chief Engineer Chicago Engineering Works Dept. 941 CHICAGO SS SS SS L. L. COOKE, Chief Engineer Chicago Engineering Works Dept. 941, 2150 Lawrence Ave., Chicago, III. l Send me free and without obligation on my part, Occupation. SS SS SS SS | true, and all, |I'm happy to relate, were lthrowing | flowersat you. I sought the | President, be- |times, and hada pleasant chat, and tie was cut- ting out your rhymes to paste inside his hat. He said his job would be much worse than mortal could endure, but for your shredded germ-proof verse, which will the fantods cure. “T talked with William Howard Taft |and he admires your curves; he says the j useful graftishard upon the nerves. | But when he’s jaded, sad and tired, by | legal skeins enmeshed, he reads a song that you have lyred, and is at once refreshed. “I talked with Henry Cabot Lodge, nd he was grim and blue; he said his labors he would dodge, if it were not for 28 IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING by Walt Mason you. When he’s confronting sorrow’s cup, and life seems bleak and sore, your deathless pomes have cheered him up, a million times or more. These people asked if I would call and give you their regards; they think you're greater far than all the standard classic bards. And now, my friend, I'd hav look, with vision straight and clear, a this immortal, noble book, I'm introduc- ing here. It is a work for poor and rich, the bookshelf it adorns; it tells you how to cure the itch, your spavin and your corns.” Who could resist a man like that? He got my bottom groat; and so, to show I am a flat, the agents take my goat. That Lost Discharge Gum» had lost his discharge. He sent to Washington for an application blank in order to have the matter adjusted. The following questions were sent him to wer: might become Pri sid “Have you any friends willing t that you are not somebody el “Are you a member of the large group doomed to pyorrhea? “How old) were you on birthday?” How many autos can you dodge in a swear your first What kind of flowers did you plant in your helmet?” “Do you ob- ject to being measured with red tape?” “*What makes you think that you le our left leg?” “If request- ed to do so, could) you swear that you didn’t have a left leg?” “Where w you born? What for?” “Are we sup- posed to under- stand that you High Pressure served in the Lubrication. - Ford be towed into the Presi- dent’s ¢ “Do you consider the above a flivverous question? And if so, why s From time to time, other forms will be sent for you to fill out. We have them all printed, and there is no reason why they should be wasted. Long years had passed. One day, while Gray was combing out his beard, he was heard to a: ‘Has my application been approved yet? “Give ’em time, give ’em time,” replied his keeper.” —K. A, Bisbee. comicbooks.com i s = I > | menndetwocemean =