Judge, 1923-12-29 · page 6 of 37
Judge — December 29, 1923 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Unwearied Wells" by Walt Mason This page satirizes prolific author H. G. Wells through a humorous comparison of writing styles. The cartoon shows a couple at a table discussing "separate umbrellas"—a reference to Wells' theme about marital independence. The article contrasts two types of writers: those who suffer from "writer's cramp" and take breaks, versus Wells, who never rests. It suggests Wells writes prolifically despite physical strain—"cramp in both wrists," "wrists and wots and wists"—yet somehow produces "three volumes and a half" continuously. The satire mocks Wells' relentless output and his particular obsession with writing about marriage, separate lives, and social arrangements. The joke critiques both his productivity and his fixation on marital themes as subject matter.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
= ee , y} = Sy vil f : 4 we { <= “Ormrpryywar yy Wty, Aw Sess “John, dear, I’ve absolutely made up my mind to economize next year. So I've just been down ordering everything I could think of, to be delivered before the first of the month.” THE UNWEARIED WELLS by Walt Mason OME authors have the writer's cramp plans some fourteen more. A new re- when long their pens they've plied. ligion he'll invent and have it’ widely wishing he were dead. and then they douse the student Some authors labor for a time, and lamp, and lay their tools aside. “We then they wisely say, “This toil unbroken cannot write,” they lly say, “when is a crime, we need a holiday. So we will writer's cramp appears; and so we'll seek the sylvan dell, ascend the moun- chase ourselves away, and rest for months tain's brow, and there pursue the wild or years.” gazelle, the warthog and the cow. We'll And peradventure it is best that they think no more of piffling books, of what relax their speed, and give their readers our labor means, and in the clear and such a rest as wearied readers need. babbling brooks we'll fish for- canned Their brows have long with sweat been sardines.” damp, while toiling in their dens; the And then perchance their spears are gods have sent the writer's cramp to st fleshed in hare and porcupine, and they their creaking pens. And so they take return to work refreshed, and turn out an earned repose from all their tools afar; novels fine. And lers say, “These and this is best, and no one knows how writing guys have come bac! good and strong; in taking lay-off they are wise— they cannot rest too long.” B" H. G. Wells, he never takes a lay- read, while yonder less efficient gent is glad the readers a But H. G. Wells will not rele writer's cramp is his; he still down to tacks, he makes the language whiz. He has the cramp in both his off for an hour; he never skims wrists, he has it in his n and yet he along the lakes or climbs the mountains weens and wots and wists that he will «gzow’s the young married couple? ‘our. From every human we write, by heck. And so while feebler Ag devoted as ever?” free, he falters not nor fails, but. writes writers quaff their cup of woe and roar, “Well, they have separate umbrel- six bales of history, and nine of moral : he writes three volumes and a half, and — las.” tales. Delivering the priceless goods he y 4 comicbooks.com