Judge — December 29, 1923 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WITH THE COLLEGE WITS Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible A line on a tea hound. —Lafayette Lyre. In the Pictures HE LITTLE gray-haired mother sat nitting woolen socks, as she rolled gently back and forth in her rocking-chair. Father was nearby, reading the last week's issue of The Trunktown Gazette. Tiny grandchildren played before the glaring fireplace, building fairy castles of block Grandma smiled benevolently at th over the rims of her double lens spectacles. She momentarily stopped her knitting to clean the glasses, the room was so dusty. She lifted her apron gently— ‘Til be damned! Do you think you're doing a Highland fling? Don’t you even know how to lift an apron. Let me show you—” shouted a crazy man as he ed a megaphone in Grandma's Aw, go to hell!” said the gray-haired mother.—Dartmouth Jack o° Lantern. sae My wife is like an umpire—she never thinks I’m safe when I’m out.—Washing- ton and Lee Mink. A mere slip of a girl. —Rice Owl. “Didja study last night?” “Yeah, but didn’t have much time— had to wind my watch, fill my fountain pen, put a new blotter on my desk, clean my typewriter, call up the girl, find my eyeshade, and read the college comic.” — California Pelican. The Wild Man Ho's the stranger, mother dear? Look! He knows us! Ain't he queer?” my own! Don’t talk so wild. your father, dearest child!” s my father? No such thing! her died, you know, last spring!” “Father didn’t die, you dub! Father joined a golfing club; But they closed the club, so he Had no place to go, you see! <o place left for him to roam, Yhat’s why he’s coming home. Kiss him—he won't bite you, cl All these golfing guys look wild! —Lehigh Burr. “ AIS “And did her father follow them when they eloped?” “Sure; he’s living with them ye Hamilton Royal Gabon. Average undergrad, ex- pressing forcible view on any topic of current inter- est.—Yale Record. “Minion, tell me the truth!” thundered his august majesty, “what made all these nicks in my broadsword?” “Sire.” replied the trembling page, “I don’t want to snitch on a woman, but the queen's been sharpening pencils.” —Wash- ington Sun Dodger. soe Small Boy (on ar- rival at country cot- tage)—Mummy, where is the bath- room? Mother—Thereisn’t any bathroom, dear. “Good! This going to be a real holiday.” —Mass. Ag. Squib. cd “This water has germs in it. You'd better boil it before drinking it.” “Nonsense. I'd just as leave be an aquarium as a HEN profs rave on beyond the bell, I must confess it makes me mad: When I regard a gink like that, Or I think Lenine can’t be so bad. | That Trotzky would appear a saint. Although Lenine and Trotzk For Russia make things good and hot, Think of the people’s awful plight If they possessed the bunch I've got! “Your son must be the idol of the “There goes a great track man.” “He looks like a hobo to me.” “He is.”—Oregon Lemon Punch. I doff my gray fedora He’s smoked cigars for twenty y’ars And never got the habit. His idea of heaven. WI —Georgia Tech. Yellow Jacket. w Comparisons | \ Of what avail to make complaint? | When profs flunk dozens at a time, ; Besides such birds I oft reflect of y can —Northwestern Purple Parrot. j sae He has been idle for twenty-one | | Penn. State Froth. ‘ SAS hal To Uncle Rodman Babbitt; Zz & —Ohio Sun Dial. j cemetery.” —Stanford Reggie—Late hours are not good for one. Chaparral. Beth—But fine for two.—Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. 26 comicbooks.com