Judge, 1923-12-22 · page 9 of 36
Judge — December 22, 1923 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains three distinct pieces of social satire: **"Metered Woe"** (left): A poem mocking the modern dating experience. The narrator complains that courtship "comes very high"—literally, as he must pay taxi fares ("motor-driven cab," "Yellow" cab) to see his girlfriend Stella. The satire targets how automobiles and urban transportation have made romance expensive. The joke at bottom shows a man holding an umbrella over his date, which she finds laughably "obsolete"—suggesting modern women no longer expect old-fashioned chivalry. **"It's Great To Be a New Yorker!"** (right): A humorous essay celebrating New York City amenities—parks, subways, museums, rivers—as affordable date activities. The final joke about ambulances being the hardest vehicles to dodge sardonically suggests urban life's dangers. **Bottom illustration**: A domestic scene where a child innocently asks where Santa gets cigars, implying the father smokes them illicitly or frequently—gentle family humor. The overall theme: Modern urban life, particularly courtship, has become costly and complicated by technology and changing social expectations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Metered Woe by Cyril B. Eagan o you wonder that I sigh? My dear—O dear—comes very high! u Here to-night it’s raining, And that is why you see me fuss, Why T am profaning The atmosphere with stinging cuss [bought a large umbrella lo protect her from the storm; She laughed, the lovely Stella, \s my cars grew red and warm. Her laugh was musical and sweet “How curiously obsolete! ' Surely you're a funny cuss | Such a quaintly humorous Notion to conceive... . How hard ‘tis to believe That good old-fashioned fellehs The Johnnies ever-jealous Once shielded with umbrellas The beauty of their Stellas! ; iia now the onl bumbielinal “How did you like the queer little Chinese back-scratchers I gave you IC ONTY Parasol for Christmas, Nan?” \bsolutely sure to suit “My dear! Were those back-scratchers? And here I’ve been making Milady fol-de-rol, poor Peter eat his salad with them!” Is the motor-driven cab, Is the lovely little taxi. _ ‘ Here’s a Yellow we can grab ; Ted—Dolly is rather changeable, ist T{*s Great To Bea New Yorke «ave the ‘brells » Maxi!” she a Leave the ’brella—hurry, Maxi Ned —I should say so. Why, that girl by Berry Fleming Do you wonder that I sigh? keeps Tom guessing. and he’s a mind Zou can buy a cigar on every corner. My dear—O dear—comes very high! reader, You can sit in’ the parks, which | aren't half so desolate as real country. You are right in the middle of things— if you don’t believe it try to cut diagonally across Times Square. You never want an automobile. You have a river on h side of you: on the east you have th t River, and on the west, naturally, you have the North River; this makes it nice if you love the ocean. If you can get a seat on a surface car. you are privileged to keep it, and ruminate in repose on the equality of the sexes. You can go to the country, take a walk and get back to town again in two days. You can ride miles and miles and miles on the subway for five cents; or, you can do the same thing on the clevated, if you like to look out of the windows. > If you have to economize, you can take your girl to the museum or the aquarium, There are enough places in town to dine to make it fairly easy to escape your relatives. The most difficult’ vehicle to dodge in the city is an ambulance—which fact has: its redeeming features. You can sit on the Battery and watch people going to Europe > You can always find somebody in a - worse fix than you are. It’s great to be a New Yorker! te Drawn by EpNA Ditzien, If more love-nests were started with a { Voice in the next room (Ethel, aged six)—Mother! Daddy asked me nest egg, the marriage yolk would not be if I knew where Santa Claus got his cigars? so easily bro! comicbooks.com