Judge, 1923-12-22 · page 5 of 36
Judge — December 22, 1923 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Launching the Christmas Tree" by Chet Johnson This page contains a humorous instructional article with an accompanying sketch by Gilbert Wilkinson. The illustration shows a couple discussing Christmas tree placement in their home, with the wife commenting on her husband's circular movements: "Aye, them's the circles you move in!" The joke appears to satirize domestic dynamics—specifically, the husband's ineffectual, repetitive behavior as he attempts to position the Christmas tree. The wife's remark suggests he moves in pointless circles rather than accomplishing the task efficiently. The article itself offers practical advice for securing a Christmas tree in period homes, addressing concerns about damaging walls, ceilings, and floors. This combines practical household guidance with gentle marital humor typical of Judge magazine's domestic comedy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Drawn by Gi.nert WILKINSON HE SAME general rules that govern | the annual hoisting of the family stove pipe, the changing of the one- man top from a position of parade rest to attention, and the shifting of grandpa’s portrait in the gilt frame from the south wall to the space above the fireplace, also govern the installation, decoration and dedication of the Christmas tree. In purchasing a Christmas tree it is customary to. select one with branches that measure, from tip to tip, at least three times the width of the largest door- way in the house and with i in stem four or five feet in excess of the altitude of the ceiling. This gives added zest to the happy task of shunting the tree into the home port and docking it. Matthew (after marked day)—Every- thing’s j round and round Wife—Aye, jes’ going round and round, them’s the circles you \\\ move in! LAUNCHING THE CHRISTMAS TREE by Chet Johnson If you live in a rented house or apart ment, the bottom of the tree should be fastened direct to the hardwood floors, with large spikes, although tenpenny nails will do if no spikes are handy the top branches and stem scrape the plaster from the ¢ you own your own home, carefully mani- cure the stem until the tr 1 be plac in an alert position without bumping its head. Then procure a wooden box and, with the aid of the ice pick, meat cleaver and butcher knife, insert a hole in’ the bottom of the box. The first hole should he so small that the base of the tree could not be driven into it with a pile driver. This hole should then be enlarged to fit the stem of the tree like socks on a rooster. ling. \ judicious s stringt © the tree fit so firmly into the box that it will not fall over untila draft comes in through the front door, re now ri Mf wire will soon 1 dy to decorate the tree. no one else wants the job. By ‘ n the library table and piling on it. in order of ur wendability, one one box and yourself, you find your on the same level as the apex of the where the tinsel star that crowns its glory should be tied. Here you should delay operations a few minutes and shout down to the wife that you don’t intend to get your fool head busted for any blinkitty Christmas t and why the Sam Hill don’t she snap out of it and hold that comicbooks.com