Judge — December 22, 1923 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WITH THE COLLEGE WITS Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible VReetines, little Freshmen all! HT Some day You'll all be called the If you do the things you're told. I'm sure you've often heard it said You're lucky if you've not \dvice is cheap.” and “Be yourself.” Phat stuff is not too hot. Those here above you may be prunes, And need some advice too, But please, Oh please, don’t do it yourself! God help you if you do! Amherst Lord Jeff. sas “Don't think you'll he missed,” said the militant wife, as she hurled” the spin at her husband.—California “Did you hear about that Ag. student who swallowed some nitrate ferti- lizer?” “Yeh. He’s complaining of growing pains."—West Virginia Moonshine. tts Stude bean soup? Waiter —The cook does, sir. “Why, the bean in this soup isn’t big enough to flavor it.” “He isn’t supposed to flavor it, sir. He is just supposed to christen it.” Nebraska Awgwan. te y, Waiter. Do you call this First Stude—Are you sure your folks know I'm coming home with you? Second Stude—They ought to: I argued with them for a whole hour about it. Hamilton Royal Gaboon. rnd Horatio How do you like that suit with two pairs of pants? {lgy—The material is excellent, but, hy Jove. it's darn hot wearing both pairs at once.—California Wampus. He—My girl reminds me of wash day. She—How’s that? “Nothing to her but clothes. pins, and a heavy line."—Lehigh Burr. eee Tom—Vick night and he st Harry —W “T stumbled.” dT got in a fight last ted running. how did he hit you, then? Yale Record. He—Do you do the Ritz? She—No. Mother said that I must learn to dance before I begin to enjoy myself.—Dartmouth Jack o’ Lantern. * Some Truth in Signs “Right!” Remarked Joe College As he drove up To the One-horse town And was greeted by This sign: SLOW! Rutgers Chanticleer. eer) Tess (at dance)—Who is that man who keeps looking over this way? Jim—That is the football captain. He is probably looking me over because he thinks I have a good-build for football. “But. Jim, I don’t play football. Oregon Lemon Punch. per) A recent Cornell get-together. —Cornell Widow. oun ANDERSON, my jo, John, J When we were introduced, I liked the straggly brist Your manly lip produce: But now my thoughts John, And now [don’t think so. It really spoils my hair-nets John Anderson, my jo. rave changed yes, John Anderson, my jo, John, We long have gone together, But something must be done, John, Or I will seek another. I'll stand this thing no more, No more with you Pll go Until you shave that wisp away, John Anderson, my jo. —Missouri Showme. John; cna? ij “Pete is sure narrow-minded, isn’t e?” “Yeh. Why, that bird would cut his hand if he rubbed his forehead.”— Notre Dame Juggler. ttt Sam—What am you doin’ now? Bo—TVse an exporter. “An exporter?” “Yep. the Pullman Company — just fired me.” —Johns Hopleins Black and Blue Jay. tot Here's to the picture upon my desk, That I love throughout the vear, Though it’s not so sweet as the girl herself, It's a damn sight more sincere. Lafayette Lyre. ttt “What do you do if a man persists in asking for a dance—and you hate him?” ©Tell him your card’s full.” Il, suppose it isn’t? it is—and let him see it isn’t.” Yale Record. te Soph algebra? Senior—I went through at night but couldn't see the place. Denver Parrakect. reel T suppose you've been through I've often stopped to wonder At fate’s peculiar ways: For nearly all our famous men Were born on holidays. —Princeton Tiger. comicbooks.com