Judge — December 22, 1923 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tests of Courage by Walt Mason Y COURAGE is exalted, it’s good for M any strain; it never can be halted by any man’s disdain. And every day it's needed, for every day I'm scored by neighbors I've succeeded in leaving badly bored. I do not follow fashion as closely as I should, and folks fly ina passion, and then they roast me good. And being always chidden gets on a fellow’s nerves, and I am daily ridden by those who hate my cur’ It takes some urit, defending the things vou like the best, when all your friends are blending their voices in protest. I like old Wilkie Col- lins; when T that much admit, [ the eater- waulin’s of critics in a fit. They say, in terms judi- cial, “His characters are punk, his plots are arti- ficial, and all his books are junk. The blush of shame should — mantle your large and bulging if, Wilkie’s silly rant'll give solace to you now. Tf you must read brow, methods pray read rand $ mourt a feller whose are outworn, him in the your weakn ir satire isn’t silky, anguage isn’t limp: use T like old Wilkie ay Lama simp. It some courage, to stand up for the jays who. plied their busy fabers in dis- tant ancient days. ‘The scornful laughter quick- ons, the critics gibe and mock, when I insist that Dickens backs Lawrence off the walk. George Eliot, I've contended, has Edith Wharton can- id, and found I had offended the birds who round me stand, “You are an old back number,” men say, “your talk is tosh; you are an old cucumber, a lemon and a Squash.” their hee they takes neighbors, Sometimes in bleak November I we lid of straw, although J well remember that it’s against the law. [have an old straw bonnet that fits me like a glove; though it has mildew on it, that time- worn hat I And I believe in wearing the things we like the best, though critics. may be and springing sneer and jest. But courage high is needed to wear an old straw hat when wintry blasts are speeded athwart the wold and flat. No delegate faint-hearted should try to pull this trick; the stunt should not be charted for any timid hick, love. sWearing Drawn by SD. RUNYON. “Jasper, dear, just listen! This way T have offended again and yet again; my courage has descended from brave and warlike mei When people in their dudgeon around my pathway skid, and try io use a bludgeon upon my outlawed lid, such arguments I tender as may seem quite in line, but T will not surrender that treas- ured straw of mine. And why should I be smitten, and chivied down the pike, and slugged with egg and kitten, for wearing hats I like? I'm fond of rich brown stogies that cost two cents apiece; when I light up cheap fogies call loudly for police. T see them from me turning, in simulated ire; they say, “Your shoes are burning, your underwear’s afire.” Their nostrils are 2t Hasn’t she a beautiful voice?” “Gee, if I made a noise like that in the house you'd give me the deuce!” offended, they say Tam a frost; but my cigars are splendid, no matter what they cost. Though bitter words are spoken, and hefty bricks are thrown, my courage is unbroken, my habits are my own. My courage flaunts its pinions, I go my way serene, and stand off John D.’s minions for Old Tom gasoline. eee The Elder—Remember, there’s always room at the top. The Younger an aviator. But T don’t want to be rer) Speakwell—What do you think of the funny speech [broadcasted ? Crabshaw—Fine. Even the radio roared. comicbooks.com