Judge — December 22, 1923 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

lorris Houghton Edgar Fisher n Anthony Some families have Christmas trees; in others father gets lit up. Cock-a-doodle-do! HERE is one thing more exciting than another among the major items of current news it is the experiments in radio broadcasting between this country and Great Britain. We'll even risk the statement that nothing now happening on the Continent of Europe, unless it is the recovery of Russia, portends as much as this for the future of civ ion. When the two English-speaking peoples are prepared to talk directly to each other, daily and maybe hourly, without the interven- tion of diplomats or of “interpreters,” or even the formality of type, they will have introduced into the affairs of the world a wholly new brand of partnership, proof against changes in gov- ernment, as permanent as science. And _ virtually exclusive. Other peoples may in time acquire the necessary apparatus; they can never in calculable time acquire the common language. In comparison with this inexorable development of a s¢ tifie discovery, how ridiculously feeble are the fulminations of our politicians! Little Hi Johnson—and more recently the solemn Hughes—rises to declare that yes, we shall have no alliances with the Old World—like a bantam rooster challeng- ing the sun, or a modern Demosthenes testing his lungs against the wave-lengths. Sir Isaac HE Fates are not without their sense of the dramatic. At the moment that a red-hot Fundamentalist revival is filling a New York church with its gospel of damnation for evolutionists, Dr. Kammerer, of Vienn: brand new edition of the theory of evolut lands with his In all prob- ability, until they bumped thus head-on, the Fundamentalists had never heard of Dr. Kammerer, nor Dr. Kammerer of the Fundamentalists. Dr. Kammerer believes he has proved that acquired char- acteristics are inherited—that a good mechanic begets good mechanics, a chess player chess players, or an artistic liar artistic liars. He has been led to this opinion (in essentials), as the reader may know, by a series of experiments. In one he irritated with red light the embryo eyes of a race of blind newts and gradually bred from them a race of newts that could see naturally. At present writing he has yet to prove to the satisfaction of our scientists that his conclusions from these experiments are correct, but if he does, then the Fundamentalists may as well retire from the boards forthwith, trailing their brimstone be- hind them. ‘To-day the one popular note in their repertoire is their ridicule of the notion that man is descended from an ape- like ancestor and not, as they express it, made in the image of God. But who will care to quibble about the origin of our own 19 characteristics once we are sure we can have a voice in dictating those of our descendants? Evolution, if Dr. Kammerer. is right, graduates from a process to a practice, which promises a new religion and a new morality. In other words, one ran become a militant evolutionist, if the newts are not deceiving us, as willing to do battle for the faith as any Fundamentalist in the pack. Produce the goods, Dr. Kammerer, and we'll dub you Sir Isaae Newt. An Open Letter to Santa Claus EVERED SIR For himself JunGe craves merely the best wishes of his readers, but in accordance with his annual custom he would beseech you to consider the following gifts for a few of his friends For Gifford Pinchot, a mustache cup, one that cheers but does not incbriate. For Hi Johnson, a Maxim silencer. For Comptroller Craig, a ticket-of-leave. For Henry Ford, something that will “stop that chatter.” For Magnus Johnson, the great open spaces. For Andrew Mellon, a loving cup. For Bob LaFollette, a permanent wave. For the ex-Crown Prince, a putsch from behind. For Poincaré, three long Ruhrs and a lager. For Coolidge, the nomination. For Mussolini, something to remove Greece spots. For Uncle Sam, a champion not only without Firpo but without ‘reproach. With kindest regards, Yours, ete., JupGe. Legal Niceties © TELL a man where he can get a drink of intoxicating liquor comes under the definition of conspiracy to violate the laws of the United States, judge in West Virginia. ina friend’s ording to a Federal an blow your breath ace, and then, if he follows you, it is not your fault? Or do you have to hold your breath, too? Suppose you stand under the mistletoe and he kisses you and learns the horrid truth. But surely you ¢ Would that be considered conspiracy, or mayhem? ccorpInG to R. Bar Association, “This is the age of the moral and polit- ical Lilliputians, and the land of Lilliput instead of producing Gullivers shackles them by reason of overwhelming numbers devoted to mediocrity and mendacity.” He believes that if George Washington and John Marshall were candidates for election to a constitutional convention to-day, they would be subjected to a questionnaire “asking if they ever in all their lives took a drink”; and similarly, that Benjamin Franklin would be asked “whether he ever flew his kite on Sunday in Philadelphia. We beg to differ with Mr. Saner. If George Washington and John Marshall and Benjamin Franklin were candidates for clection to-day the condition of the publie mind would preclude such questionnaires. These men led the thought of their time and they would lead the thought of ours and we should believe again in the heroic motto of “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Lilliput L. Saner, President of the American For the Lilliputians were proportionately just as numerous in their day as in ours and would have shackled their Gullivers, too, had the latter fallen asleep. But George and John and Ben kept awake. Our Gullivers, on the other hand, are still asleep, though now and then one hears a moan between snores. comicbooks.com