Judge — December 15, 1923 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THEY ALSO SERVE by Walt Mason LIKE to read the English books, in I which firm loyalty” survives, in which the butlers and the cooks remain engaged throughout their lives. Employers treat with cold disdain. the people in the servants’ hall, and yet the servitors re! , and sweep the floor and dust the wall. The butler’s grandsire held the job the butler’s holding down to- day, the housemaid’s grandma used to swab the windows for a meager pay. Oh, there are butlers there, I know, whose sires, in an unbroken line, have buttled for the tribe of Roe since old King Hal hung out his sign. © The butler’s sons, T have no doubt, will buttle in the years to come, until the Roe tribe fizzles out, and England's kings are dead and dumb. I often wonder how it’s done, I wish I knew the English way; a job goes down from sire to son, and no one strikes for higher pay T have the darnedest time. securing help in my abode engagement ends before a blessing is be- stowed. I’m hiring butlers, turnkeys, cooks, whose sudden conduct makes me tired; they do not seem to like my looks, at least they quit as soon as hired. They all are jealous of their rights, and six day's my friends, promising off each week they want; limousine 0” nights, White Way to jaunt. If I look cross-eyed at the cook she throws her skillets on the floor, and cries, “Ods death and eke gadzook, I will not work here any more! ‘The man I work for must display a sunny smile upon his map; your frontispiece is bleak and gray, and I won't work for such a chap. My grandsire was the Sunny Jim of whom you've read in ode and tale, and Tam modeled after him, and sunshine’s better far than kale.” they ask my along the Great ‘ve HAD nine butlers in a year, in vain I begged them all to stay; they didn’t like my kic couldn't sleep well in my hay. y thought my house was much too new, historic houses are the hest; they didn’t like the tinhorn view that’ one obtains when looking West. They did not think my limousine a proper boat in which to ride; they did not like the gasoline that I’m accustomed to pro- vide, My gardeners are on the go, they will not stay, for love or pelf; and F'must take a spade and hoe, and do the dash-blamed stunt myself. laundress says she'll jump her place, beneath her grievous toil she wilts; she’s used to washing silk and lace, and not old burlap sheets and quilts. My chuffer, with sarcastic grin, informs me he will chutf no more; he says that driving cars of tin makes all his haughty spirit so The warder of the donjon keep throws up his job and goes away; the seneschal beholds me weep; but won't remain another day. ‘The damsels of the house- wife's train are quitting, qquitting all the not minted gold or hor And so I read the wonder how they work the trick; resource of love or kale cooks and butlers stick? by what » they make He—My dear, it’s not that I object to knicker- bockers; I simply don’t think you’d look well in them! comicbooks.com