Judge — December 8, 1923 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

O" Mister Possum wuz a-hangin’ in de tree, Playin’ unta Claus jes as happy as can he » on de broad uv his back Aw all de toys come tumblin’ outten his sack. Till hy fall as! Out of Date Virtues hy Walt Mason BOPrTEN hear old gi W this jazzy age of all things are ture’s failing, and locoed are our girls and The old man sits at dusk and and makes strong statements through his fez: “No damscls now can dish up vittles correctly boiled or fried,” he “Where is the maiden who ci a side of mutton or a leg, who stews her prunes so they're delicious, who has the boil an T have three daughters and [ta them that house- work is the woman's sphere; they learned to cook and time has brought them the skill that ©: ht too dear.” “But th old maids,” Tsay, with candor, * ve no husbands in their string gander, but your fair girls lost out, by jing. While they were reading works of 1's, or secking chaste and helpful whittles say's. dish us Vt be bor azzy damsels copped the noticed that the spinsters hoary are nearly always safe and si 0d cook- ing is their pride and glory, and idle A Bunele in the Jungle pleasures give them) pain. our socks and keep tl the sunshine to our liv urls we praise with They arder, and bring their household ardor, and say they'd make the finest: wives. “But if young men go forth a-wooing, when moonlight gilds the dells and gl their lutes up-tuned, their motors chooing, they up all these useful) maids. And they exclaim with much gadzooking, that when love's ardor fills their souls, their thoughts are not on fancy cooking, on darning socks or patching holes. So beaming youth scleets his filly for lambent eyes and flashing smiles; for youth is youth, though it be silly, and old) men chatter through their tile “Mt NEPHEW.” says another gaffer, 4 “is like the boys we used to rear; he works and studies like a kaffir, and wastes no coin on Volstead by All evening through and stores his mind with useful Ic neve s to shows or dances, he’s never on the poolroom floor.” “In hooks.” T nephews glitter, much ice they cut, much hay they ma in daily life so sweet a critter gives. normal men a ache. Your nephew saves his stipend meagre, and mend pass his books he g! concave De monkey and de ostrich, de hippo an’ de lion, First begin ter laff, den dey took ter cryin’ Dere stockin's wuz all empty an none uy ‘em could play “Cuz de naughty boys dey grab de toys an’ run away. docs his tricks supremely well; and he'll he watched by fakers cager—the ones who have gold bricks to sell. Your nephew is the sort of rabbit that fakers look on as their prey; they'll let him work the saving habit until some bleak and fateful day; when they decide his roll is ample they ther round him in a swarm, and make of hima sad example, and hang the jinx on his form. The old world seems to have a quarrel with youths who never blow a bue are too beautiful. and mor: dance or run amuck. As comes on a mortal mellows, and wisdom drizzles from his tongue; but youth is youth and sprightly fellows should cut some didos while they're young. From ancient men the wisdom trickles like water from a barrel’s bung; but youth should blow the shining nickels and whoop around while life is young “ k, who » Who never The mere fact that a boy doesn’t be- lieve in Santa Claus doesn't mean that he doesn’t believe in Christmas. S88 Mabel—How does he make love? Madge—Well. until To knew him, I thought all the perfect lovers were on the screen comicbooks.com