Judge — November 24, 1923 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

3 © ciB5906 YITH WHICH IS COMBINED LESLIE'S WEEKLY Too tough. “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness’ UNCLE ELMER'S THANKSGIVING unt Martny and Uncle Elmer was A to eat their Thanksgivin’ dinner in Noo York this year bein’ as Judy, that’s their niece, was married and settin’ up house there with her Noo York husban. He was the young boarder that come out to Four Corners las summer when Judy was visitin’ her Aunt Marthy and courted her so scandalous that she had to take Uncle Elmer aside an’ tell him that ef he didn’t ask the young feller what his intentions was she'd have to take a shotgun to him to stop the neighbors from talkin’, lands sake alive! So Judy married and went to Noo York to live by the name of Mrs. Jay Warren Pettigrew, which same Uncle Elmer called Petticoat, an’ Aunt Marthy tut-tutted every time he said it an’ declared as how petti- 1s the only thing Uncle Elmer ever had on his mind anyway, lands sake alive! Aunt Marthy and Uncle Elmer never was to Noo York although of course they offen heard it spoke of an’ they was all tickled up they was goin’ there. Uncle Elmer knew lots about it discussin’ it with folks at the Pust Offis when he went there to git his seed catalogs an’ was het up to think he was goin’ to see Pikes Peak and the Ethel Tower and all them other skyserapers, gorramighty! Well, Thanksgivin’ come ‘roun at last and Aunt Marthy and Uncle Elmer was up at five an’ down to the station an hour or more before the train come along an’ after an excitin’ time of it on the train lookin” out the winders and such they come to Noo York where Judy and Jay Warren was a waitin’ to meet them coats DINNER by George Mitchell an’ they druv off ina taxicab. But it went so fast and Aunt Marthy and Uncle Elmer was so skeered they didn’t sce nothin’, When they come to Jay Warren's place it was a big house and Jay Warren lived up on the fourth floor and all Aunt Marthy saw was three little pokey rooms, a bath an’ a kitchen ‘bout as big as a dog kennel and right by the front winder was a railroad built upon posts an’ every minute or so a train would run past and Uncle Elmer and Aunt) Marthy would THANKSGIVING—10.30 P.M. It looks like a dream, but feels very real. jump up like it ran between their legs. “We ain't brought. you a pumpkin pie or nothing,” Aunt Marthy told Judy, : “because L knew what a good cook you i all right,” Jay Warren tol’ her. “We got everything jake.” But the more Aunt Marthy sniffed her nose the more she couldn't smell nothin’ cookin’. Well, it got along till near four o'clock in th’ afternoon an’ Aunt Marthy could see as Uncle Elmer was starvin’ an’ the only signs she could see that they was goin’ to be any dinner was Judy sewing ay Wa way rren apressin’ ona noo hat an¢ his pants with a if Aunt Marthy couldn't ef stood it any longer so she took Judy aside an’ said: “Judy, [think your uncle's gettin’ famished.” Judy says: “I guess we're all ready now, how about you, Jay W “Stall right,” “said he, thing's jake.” We they went out of the door and downstairs and walked a couple blocks till they come to a subway railroad and they got in and rode for half an hour an’ you couldn't hear your ears count of the noise. An’ they got out an’ walked a couple more blocks till they rant called by a) Eyetalian name and in they walked and set down to a little table that had four olives set in the middle and Jay Warren stuck his thumbs in his j vest and said somethin’ in Eyetal- ian to the little furrin gentleman (Continued on page 30) come to a restau- comicbooks.com