Judge — November 24, 1923 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘How I Became Popular Overnight!” me when I asked fo: they were tired, oth ven the pos if the floor. ‘That night I went home feeling pretty lonesome and | social su An mighty blue. ~class fall- ure, At first T wov'ld ou could teach bY That one must go to a 11 could risk 250-— especially since you guaranteed to teach me. How Dancing Made Me Popular Being @ good dancer has made me sought after. "Tam invited everywhere. 3 evenings—no bitter disappointments! My whole life is happier. And I owe it all to Arthur you need par friends ye A pri by getting the ca’s foremost authori ‘a method by which you can learn the steps of Latest dances in a few minutes, Npertected ‘any of the Five Dancing Lessons FREE yen If you don't know one step from another, send for these five free lessons and let them prove that you mi methods. ‘90,000 per= is way, and there is no reason why well lessons ‘are How to "Confidence, A Lesson in F the Correct h eadin and How to Foll pay for matting nts. Learn in pri surprise your frlende—write today for the FREE: LESSON: ARTHUR MURRAY, Studio 955 290 Broadway New York City 14 KT. GOLD FILLED, Use PISO’'S — this prescription quickly weneves children and adults. A pleasant syrup. No opiates. 35% and 60 sizes sold everywhere | | If all our acts were public The Vicissitudes of a Goldfish Tse of the life a goldfish leads, A-swimming in a bowl, Where all the thoughtless passing world, May view his naked soul. From early mor till lights are out, No motion he may make, But some one sees him making it, In his sequestered lake. The worries of a public man, Who “has no private wish,” Are nothing when you stop to think Of what besets a fish. acts, Beneath the world’s cool grilling, Our lives would be as clean as his— And just about as thrilling. And what reward is given him, To pay him for his trouble? A meal a week, some water when Some person sees him bubble. A goldfish leads a harder life, Than any of his clan, We'd try to help him, but, alack, We do not give a damn. —Stanford Chaparral. Soe Father—Do you feel capable of enter- taining Mabel this afternoon? Son—Well, I drive a Rolls-Ruff car, and can shift. gears with my feet.— Oklahoma Whirlwind. ae “Henry, Henry, cookbook yesterda; she laid a fried egg. “Good,” author, her in. the hen swallowed a and this morning ly replied the tired ‘eed her a dictionary and bring Washington Sun Dodger. ae Those who say that every girl has an ambition to be an actress are wrong: Every girl is an actress.—Prinecton Tiger, She—My husband certainly does en- joy smoking in his den. Has your husband a den? Other She—No, he the house.—Williams rowls all over urple Cow. 26 WITH THE COLLEGE WITS Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible Scandal Ture were muffled sounds of a strugels in the other room, and a gitl’s voice squealed, “Stop.” No response. “Oh, please don’t. No response. “Oh, wait just a minute, No response. “Let me go this minute. “One more yank and [ll have consoled the dentist.—Sour Oul. Mother said—" please.” it out,” ~ \ The law and the profits. ) —Yale Record. | att A Li'l Worry 7s, I could write of Agnes, Of her hair of chestnut hue, Of her contagious, dimpling laughter, Of her eyes of hazy blue. Her lips a constant temptation, Her laugh a mellow chime, Yes, I could write of Agnes, But, Agnes doesn’t rhyme. —Pennsylvania Punch Boul. Ree dc Co—We have seventy-four keys up at our house and none of them will fit a lock. Ed—If they're no good why don’t you throw them aw “Oh, we couldn't play the piano with- out them.”—Oregon Lemon Punch. alia | “Harry learned to play the piano in no ah—I heard him playing it that way the other day."—Orange Owl. rey Teacher in Geography—And_ now, EI- mer, how many poles are there? Elmer—They is seventeen lives next | door to us.—Nebraska Awgwan. rer j Journalism Jane says men are like the moon: Shine best at night, and down to th t quarter a good part of the time. —Northwestern Purple Parrot. Brad Our idea of the ninth wonder of the world is the fellow who can tell what the other eight are-—Notre Dame Juggler. Baad Bone—Will that watch tell time? Head—No, you have to look at it— | Amherst Lord Jeff. comicbooks.com