Judge, 1923-11-10 · page 7 of 36
Judge — November 10, 1923 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis: Judge Magazine Page This page contains multiple satirical pieces mocking American society circa the 1920s-1930s. **"Swift to Its Close"** uses pseudo-scientific language to compare autoists (car drivers) to wild animals being "domesticated," sardonically suggesting pedestrians are losing a Darwinian struggle for survival. The piece critiques reckless drivers while noting that engineers (train operators) consistently "win" against automobiles at grade crossings—likely referencing fatal accidents where trains collide with cars. **"A Real Metallurgist"** jokes about a man from Woonsocket pawning his wife's gold watch, calling himself a "metallurgist" for extracting the gold. **Three brief jokes** mock: a woman's selective drinking habits, a snobbish political candidate who won't associate with congressmen, and a writer waiting to hear if his submitted screenplay was accepted. **The bottom cartoon** depicts a bar scene where a collegian boasts of studying French to read *La Vie Parisienne* (a Parisian entertainment magazine)—the joke being his pretentious cultural aspirations. The page satirizes materialism, vanity, and the new car culture disrupting traditional pedestrian society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Swift to Its Close by Chet Shafer Apress are former heel-and-tap artists whose velocity ranges from fifteen to seventy miles per hour accord- ing to the wind resistance and possibility of detection. They are extremely wild and nomadic and are v difficult. to irap because of their remarkable sagacity. When captured and properly penned, however, they become quite docile and sasy to handle, and they can be taught to do many amusing tricks. A flock of hice tame autoists, thoroughly domesti- cated and jail broke, is an everlasting credit to any community, No two types of lc na are quite so much at odds as autoists and their former teammates of the concreted path- Against the pedestrian the autoist is continually battling for the supremacy of the crosswalks. The struggle has been one of the most piquant in the annals of this land where tyrant foot may tread its last tread most any moment. ‘To date, the autoist leads in the number of yic- tories won, The pedestrians, while they must be commended for their persistence, are gradually losing ground under the processes of elimination and rigor mortis. It seems only fair to state at this time that pedestrians must either give up their cause and assemble enough cash to be- come autoists in their own right; or, if they choose to continue the struggle, they should offer no criticisms of their surviv- ing relatives for the manner in which the funeral is conducted. It is interesting to note that the autoist has not been successful in all his contests, however. In competition with engincers of limited trains for the unscathed pas- sage of grade crossings he has not covered his cause with much glory. Auto- ists have always been obsessed with the idea that they could pit their cunning against the skill of an engincer but statis. tics show that they have been somewhat in error. ways. The races have been exciting Madge—I never take a drink unless it’s a very cold day! Dick—What do you mean, cold? “Oh! but the coroner's jury, as a rule, after mining the witnesses, has declared the engineer to be the winner. And when the autoist has been removed from the wreckage by kind and loving hands and an account of the affair has been pub- least the engineer receives is the newspaper decision. SBS “7 rnovcGur Blank was going to run for Congress,” said the local political dopester. “Nope, he’s too snobbish,” asserted the insider. “Couldn't get_the people's votes, ch?” “No, it: wasn’t th replied the in- sider. “He refuses to associate with Congressmen.” Around seventy or seventy-five degrees!” A Real Metallurgist A CHARMING young chap from Woon- 4 socket Neatly slipped his wife's watch in his He s, “T sure need the tin, So Till take this gold thing out and hocket.” id with a grin, ttt “What do you think of the movies as sked Bibb of Seribb, the well- known writer. “LT can't tell you, yet.” replied Seribb. “T haven't heard from the scenario I submitted.” an art? Collegian—I studied French three years so I could read La Vie Parisienne. comicbooks.com