Judge — November 10, 1923 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WITH ~~ IS COMBINED LESLIE'S WEEKLY Admirers—What did the Germans do then? Ex-doughboy—They killed me “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”’ How It Happened by Bill Rendered [= my old friend Brown yesterday. He and his wife used to ran a sana- torium for women—women with plenty of money and nothing to do, who had heen doing nothing for so long that their nerves had got ragged and they fancied they had thing in the world the matter with them. Brown and his wife were making a fortune out of the place when T saw them last and the women not getting much better but having a fine time all talking at once telling each other how bad they fel But Brown looked pretty glum yester- day, and after we had shaken hands I asked him how the sanatorium was getting along. “Had to close it,” he replied gloomily. “You know how women are always start- ing some fad and how the rest will all jump over the fence and follow it like a flock of sheep? Well, one di ‘one old girl started working one day—making clothes for the poor and) needy—and working hard, too! And with that all the women. starts a-working, making clothes for the poor and needy—working from morning to night. And pretty soon every blamed one of them forgot about their nerves and re they didn’t really b anything the matter with them—and left— and T had to close the place down!” tae HE owner of an estate on which there was a lake was annoyed to see a stranger fishing on his grounds. He approached the tres- passer and began to abuse him. “This lake,” he said,“is privately owned and I stocked it out myself. You must go : once.” “Just a minute, sir,’ : life? said the fish man calmly. ke with?” Trout.” was the won “t have “That's all right, sir,” said the unconcernedly, “Tm fishing for “What did you stock “And answer. tres- wae our boy making out any evidence of brains Hes ewalilily ion; liis mathematics and chemistry, of course, but he’s got the best head for signals on the team.” cole st As soon » starts to make at them. Philosophical Full-back—Gee, ain't this a funny To think I was disqualified for doin’ just this very thing this afternoon! 1 The os rh Bi ard Ww" s tr N i nned his pastorals in En : Jand’s good old ¢ ts was oozing odes and things and Swinburne looped the lite. They didw’t have a thing to do but Tilt their lanquid lays, And ladies used to loll sibilate, “So cute!” The bard's too busy now to thrive. He wonders why he topped that drive about and Pope popped his pointed epigrams before the age of sport. When Dempsey Hoover: When men forg: trimmed their frivol Oh, those were grand and to be a potent pote! But now the bard’s a busy bird When bunkered on the dog-leg third. lid not sock a jaw nor hildish ways and lorious days If Shelley’d sliced “em to the match or medal play, His pale and placid poems would ap- pear in sterner mold. Tf men hadi foozled two-foot putts in Mr. Milton's day His Regained” would not have been so blithely told. They hitched their buggies toastar. I'd rather do the course in par. tote rough in Mr. Gaylad—You say that you are. wort That your wife hasnt written to you since she started on her vacation? Mr. Steppout—Yos. Tam worried She may drop in at any time. tots Daze—What i: man with a maid Maze—The maid's way. “the way of a comicbooks.com