Judge — October 20, 1923 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Edwin Levick. Scooty Blear by C.W. Myers A, orreis is a gawfor wha says yer drive LY is wonderfu’ but hopes th’ ba’ will end oop ina bad lie. . * 6 TW’ only time a dub daesna like a short hole is when he has tae wait until three or four foursomes get oot 0” th’ wa’. +e T hae never kenned o’.a Scotsman wha cad understan’ why money is ever re- ferred tae as filthy lucre. + * # Here is ane fallow I've never met—th’ duffer wha admits that a gawf coorse architect understans his business. * * +* Some men are ambitious tac become leaders in thir communities, some tae pile oop riches an’ some hae high polectical aspirations. J ithers wad be satis- fied wi’ life if they cad lengthen thir drives an’ still play a gude short game. + * * My bairnie’s auburn hair, Hung loosely doun her back, Inspired a love sac rare I gied her a’ my jack. Ane day she boobed her locks; My love, sae help my soul, Was shattered oon th’ rocks— There was exposed a mole! t+ * * A well-known bishop oot West a native o? Auld Scotia, enjoys jo! m th’ Scots. He tells 0° a recent visit 0” an auld frien’ frae Austra “Ye dinna hae mony Scots ower there, dae ye?” he though Sandy MacPherson an’ Jerry MacGlick never made muckle progress in gawf an’ neither was ever sure whaur his b gaun tac land. When baith were pki th’ same day th’ coorse was really dangerous place. Ane day Sandy's’ ba’ took a bad slice an’ hit Jerry ower in anither fairway “Pm gaun » sue ye for $10,000," cried Sandy, aifter he haed recovered frac th’ shock. “T yelled ‘Fore,’ I tell ye,” answered I tak’ it,” was Sandy’s quick reply. + * # A lilip is a gawfer wha is always changin’ his stance an’ his grip, buyin’ new clubs an? tryin’ oot different: kinds o° ba’s, but still keeps playin’ aroun’ in th’ 90°s. Reggie decisively defeats the world’s th’ Australian replied, heavyweight champion in two rounds “but oor warst pests are th’ jackrabbits.” (of golf). 15 Ballades of a Dub Are Twenty Clubs Enough to Take? by A. N. C. Fowler w old, pet driver, brassey, spoon, Mid-iron, cleck and quite a row OF mashies that are sure a boon When cuppy lies T can’t forego; A bobby and a brace or so Of jiggers and the proper make Of putters when the greens are slow Are twenty clubs enough to take? T lug ‘em out each afternoon And ev'ry afternoon I blow On finding ni so out of tune golf song is a dirge of woe yy T would keep my medal low And ninety-five is all T break I diffidently ask the pro: lubs enough to take? If, while I dub from rough to dune Enough to make my language flow, It's lack of clubs proves me a prune, When, then [am prepared to throw Around another bunch of dough For still more tools for my game's sake To stick to hogey or below— Are twenty clubs enough to take? DEnvoi Come, caddy, all aboard, let’s go! Mount on the trailer, slip the Our luggage on the rear deck stow— Are twenty clubs enough to take? ots Fred—Why do you let your office boy smoke cigarettes while on duty? Ted—Well, he can’t whistle while he’s got one of them in his mouth. comicbooks.com