Judge — October 20, 1923 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

STORIES TO TELL ji, e. and 85 for the accoud beat. raat regular rates,” Oriyinal, unpi nly are wanted. Second Prize [Pee BisuTEES woxtus two colored doughboys had been fighting, neither having heard from home. ‘Two days before. the Armistice was signed Sam entered the dugout forlorn and dejected. “Heah, ah got a letter says my gal done went and got herself married, That’s what ah calls tough luck.” Rastus just looked up, and with tears, which he could no longer control, stream- ing down his cheeks, mumbled, “Man, dat ain't no hard luck. Ah just got a letter from my district board telling me Vin exempt.” “ Ye sinks s0 sad?” one male gos sip asked of another who knew the subject of the inquiry. Reason enough, I should say. He was in the park this morning, and saw a woman going into a faint. He nearly caught her in his arms, and Was robbed by her, eh? Old stuff, yu're wrong, old man. Not that sort of a case. She proved to be a mil- lionaire’s daughter ien what is he so blue about?” “Well, he didn’t catch her.” rey FEW years ago, ¢% Mr. Lawson was considered a. financial wizard. — His special “coppers” brought him such prosperity that he was called King Cop- per. . One June morning his magnificent steam yacht, Dreamwold, lay anchored in Hull H bor. Her owner wi pacing the deck lazily when a party of boy and girls out for a sail in a small fishing boat suddenly ran against his superb craft. One of the young women, feeling herself in a hing suit quite in- cognito, shouted through a’ megaphone: How’s How's "was the quick retort. rrr Toren, the diminu. tive office boy, had worked hard on a “sal- ary” of five dollars a First Prize The wandering knight of the road had, with true professional manner, called the lady of the house to the door. With the voice with the whine, he pleaded: “Will you please give a poor man a piece of cak drink of wine?” or pie, and perhaps a The matron looked upon him with ris- ing wrath. “Cake, or pie, and wine! It seems to me you are a high-toned beggar.” “As a rule, [am easily suited,” replied the stranger, “but to-day is my birthday, and I would like to celebrate a little.” week. He was a subdued little cl faithful and quiet. Finally, howe plucked up courage to ask for an incr “How much more would you like inquired his employer. “Well,” answered Tommy, “I don’t think that three dollars a week more would be too much.” “You are rather a small boy to be was to place. On the drive le age, but to tell Basin, the tourist crosses the continental the truth, since P’'ve been working here divide twice I've been so busy I haven't had time to Signposts different point tudes are er earning eight dollars a week.” “T suppose Iam,” said Tommy, “I know Iam small for my ¢ grow.” He got the raise. “What became of that Smith boy that used to lie so?” “Why, he has gone into advertising.” Tt Lim, a youth fresh from a farm in the SD Middie West, had just taken on the job as driver of a coach in Yellowstone Park. In order to fit himself for the position, he obtained as much informa- tion as possible from the driver whose place he had taken, and thought he had soaked up all the knowledge there be about nature’s show ving the Upper at two different altitudes. the names of the of interest and the alti- ted at frequent intervals throughout the park, and it was one of these that proved Slim’s undoing. The new guide was put in charge of a party of school-teach- ers from Boston on his first trip. As they drove along the ladies kept reading the signs and commenting on them. “Continental divide,” read one, giv- ing the altitude. A few miles further on they encountered a similar sign, giving a still higher altitude. “Why how is this?” asked one of the party. “I thought we just passed the con- tinental d ” This was a poser for poor Slim. He studied for some time over it in thoughtful silence and then said: “Oh, lady! I think I know how that happened. They’ve moved it and forgotten to take down the sign.” comicbooks.com